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What's with the name?

Allow us to explain.

What It Says On the Tin

Bear Bites Dog: Girl Punches Bear


Don’t you hate it when you’re hanging out at home (in Alaska) and all of a sudden, you see a bear carrying your dachshund in its mouth like a salmon? That is exactly what happened to Brooke Collins, who did exactly what any self-respecting dog owner would do — she punched that bear in the face. What? You thought only sharks hated being punched in the face? Oh, no, Virginia. Bears dislike being punched in the face. But not enough to punch you back. Because this one left Collins and both her dogs unscathed and ran away back to the forest where he was mostly likely mocked relentlessly by all his bear friends.

There is honestly not much more to the story, except to say that it’s one of the most hilarious headlines to read if a) you are not Brooke Collins or one of her dogs or b) far, far away from the bear population. However, Collins, who lives in Juneau, Alaska with her boyfriend Regan O’Toole (who witnessed the bear attack — that is, the attacks both by and on the bear), certainly deserves some recognition for the intestinal fortitude exhibited in the name of her dog, the dachshund Fudge. (She also has a pomeranian named Toki, who was not nearly kidnapped by a bear and just stood by, watching in fluffy, fluffy horror.) There was no question about what she had to do when she saw a bear making off with Fudge. She had to save Fudge. By punching that bear in the face.

“It was all so fast. All I could think about was my dog was going to die,” said Collins.

“It was a stupid thing but I couldn’t help it,” she said. “I know you’re not supposed to do that but I didn’t want my dog to be killed.”

The bear, which was described as “very large,” did not cause serious harm to Fudge, except for giving him a huge fright, and Collins has said she will be more cautious of bears in the future, but will probably not punch another one in the face.

(Juneau Empire via Best Week Ever)

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  • Anonymous

    Freaking Awesome! HA! She punched a bear in the face! Tougher in Alaska LOL

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=55201243 Bridget Sessions

    I love seeing my hometown getting coverage, especially for something so bad ass

  • John Wao

    I wonder if she screamed like Ellen Ripley:

    “GET AWAY FROM HER YOU B%$#@!”

  • Life Lessons

    You go grrl!!! And punch those bears!! Your mama instincts ain’t gonna let no nasty bear get your doggies babies!!! Huzzah!!!

  • Anonymous

    I rofl’d at “fluffy fluffy horror” – awesome story

  • http://ladymercury-10.livejournal.com/ Maiasaura

    This story rocks in so many ways.  Also, “fluffy, fluffy horror.”  LOL.

  • Anonymous

    tinyurl.com/2df4ccp

  • http://twitter.com/rachelekolb Rachel Kolb

    This story makes me so happy. :D  Nice work, Brooke!

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  • http://www.facebook.com/Gorillazfan Emily Hill

    lol all I can imagine now is her screaming “I AM A MAN” as she punches the bear XD lol fluffy fluffy horror

  • Stephanie I

    I’m laughing so hard, and also horrified! Reminds me of how once, a giant dog that had to be at least as big as me (5’2″), tried to attack my chihuahua and picked him up, and I punched the dog in the nose, grabbed my chihuahua and ran off. Except this was way more badass.

  • Anonymous

    This story is awesome and hilarious. But… it’s also one branch of the timestream away from being a story about an idiot who died while trying to punch a bear in the face. O_o Seriously, I can’t believe it worked.