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What's with the name?

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Today in Boobs

Male German Soldiers Have Started Growing Breasts, Turning Into Real-Life Amazons (Kinda)


It’s said that the Amazons would cut or burn off their right breasts so that they could throw their javelins without pesky boobery getting in the way. So I feel completely comfortable in calling what’s happening with Germany’s Wachbataillon a “reverse Amazon.” Instead of lady soldiers losing a breast, these male soldiers are gaining one.

Yep. Dozens of German soldiers have started growing a left boob.

It happens, writes the German Herald (in a story called “Bra-Gade of Guards,” no less), because of a specific drill the Wachbataillon does, where they slap their heavy rifles against the left side of their chest. That stimulates the male mammary glands, causing them to produce hormones that in turn leads to the growth of a single boob on the left side.

Says Professor Bjorn Krapohl, director of plastic surgery at Berlin’s military hospital, “There is a very significant link between the activity in the Guard Battalion and the development of the breast on the left side… They need to change the way they drill. The constant slamming of the rifles against the left hand side of the chest is clearly a significant factor.”

74% of the Wachbataillon has been diagnosed with the condition, called one-sided gynecomastia, though I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s at least one guy who’s embarrassed about his new boob and is… keeping it close to his chest. HEY-O!

An army spokesperson says that “the affected soldiers are being medically supervised and treated individually,” and higher-ups in the German military have said they’ll research the condition and then decide whether the Wachbataillon’s drills should be changed.

Um, I’m going to say “yes” on that one. They should probably be changed. Just a thought.

(via: Jezebel)

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  • Anonymous

    I’m sure they would prefer to think of themselves as Valkyrie.

    I can’t not think of Strax the Sontaran nurse, who can produce “magnificent quantities” of lactic fluid.

  • Madison D

    The idea of Amazons cutting off a breast is false. It was only mentioned once in the 5th century BC by Hellanicus of Lesbos who thought their name was derived from the Greek prefix a- (“without”) and mazos, a variant of mastos (“breast”). They’re not depicted anywhere else (in writing or art) as having less than the usual number of breasts.

  • TKS

    I wholeheartedly applaud your “close to the chest” joke.

  • TKS

    She means the Amazons from Y: The Last Man.

    Easy mistake to make.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Thank you. *bows*

  • http://profiles.google.com/bubbashelby Eric Stettmeier

    So you mean to tell me the solution lonely men the world over have been seeking all these years lies in slapping a rifle against one’s chest? Expect the NRA to jump all over this one!

  • John Wao

    Either change it or give the right one equal time.

  • http://wrongsirwrong.blogspot.com/ Magic Xylophone

    That is, hands down, the most bizarre thing I’ve heard today.

  • Null

    A nation of Titlers?

    Deutschland boober alles?

  • http://www.youtube.com/cherubicwindigo Laura

    Yet another reason I can roll my eyes when someone starts in on how different men and women’s bodies are. Maybe this is why bodybuilders slap their chest after a workout? Boobies!

  • strife

    You don’t think male and female bodies are different? Sure there’s a spectrum, but there are ends to the spectrum. The average man and the average women do have differences.

  • Canisa

    I think the point is that if men can grow breasts, then people who don’t think women can grow muscle might want to consider shutting the hell up.

  • strife

    The reason men can grow boobs is the same reason why they have nipples. Sure, women can develop muscles. But even then, there’s a difference between top female body builders and top male body builders.

  • strife

    The reason men can grow boobs is the same reason why they have nipples. Sure, women can develop muscles. But even then, there’s a difference between top female body builders and top male body builders.

  • http://www.facebook.com/omar.haleem1 Omar Haleem

    Unusual Facts it sez “Stimulating the nipples causes goose bumps in the genitalia”…it figures..:(