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Oh Hollywood

Brave Little Toaster to Be Developed As CGI Reboot, All of Us to Collectively Groan


Why. Why would you do that?

We knew this dark day would come.

In a homogenous, Hollywood-wide effort to leave no corner of your childhood unscathed, Waterman Entertainment has acquired the rights to The Brave Little Toaster, and announced their intentions to develop it as a computer-animated feature. For those who didn’t hit the late-1980s/early-1990s animation age sweet-spot dead on; Toaster followed a sentient toaster, vacuum cleaner, electric blanket, and lamp on a journey through the woods to re-join their masters, who have accidentally abandoned them at a vacation cabin.

Sound….familiar? Maybe like something else you may have seen? Actually, Toaster was originally pitched by John Lasseter in his pre-Pixar years at Disney. When he left for greener CG pastures, the idea was bought up by Hyperion Pictures and Kushner-Locke, who made the film in then-standard 2D.

Waterman Entertainment, in the past behind such family-friendly CG-laden rejiggering as Stuart Little and Casper, has plans to update the 1987 feature to include more modern technology, like the iPhone. (We’ll wait while you shudder in understandable horror.) Commercial plugs should be an unsurprising inclusion, since Waterman is also a rights-management company who have their eyes on multi-platform tie-ins for their new batch of properties.

Before we begin lamenting the End of Entertainment, (tempting as it is, believe you me) let’s look at the facts. Lasseter had intended for Toaster to be a CG film to begin with, so this deal has, in fact, a kernel of cosmic showbiz balance buried deep within. Moreover, the acquisition of a property means the purchase of rights only. The film is nowhere near production, and, as with the majority of these kinds of projects, could be shelved for years in what is known colloquially as Development Hell.

Which is where it belongs.

(via The Wrap)

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  • Rebecca

    Director Jerry Rees has said that there’s been talk about a live-action/animation sequel for a while now, with him writing and directing and bringing back some of the original cast and crew. I’d be on board with THAT sequel… but I can’t imagine it’s the one Waterman intends to do. Dammit. Right in the childhood. Fingers crossed that that crazy Peter Lorre lamp will make a cameo if this ever actually happens.

  • http://twitter.com/Dingoman9126 Andy Young

    I actually interviewed Jerry a few months ago and, if he’s still involved, I’m excited. He was the mastermind behind the original and he has some really good ideas for a loving addition to the series (not like those VHS sequel knock offs). Also, I made this live-action remake over a year ago. WHERE’S MY ROYALTIES, WATERMAN?! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LOp_ZnE09k

  • http://bittersweetfountain.blogspot.com/ Bittersweet Fountain

    The Brave Little Toaster was one of my favorite movies as a kid. It was equally traumatizing and amazing. (Those poor cars! What about that flower that fell in love with it’s reflection in the toaster? And when the vacuum cleaner almost chocked to death on his own cord?) If they do go through with a reboot, I only hope they can do it justice.

    But if they go with an iPhone…I have a really hard time believing an iPhone would feel abandoned by its master. People always come back for their phones.

  • Anonymous

    Excellent remake. Almost exactly like I remember the original.

  • Anonymous

    How could you forget about Radio?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1349417877 Kim Krzebiot

    So, Siri is going to be a character?

  • Rarity

    Swan Princess is going to do it first, in the form of a Christmas special.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV-PXFVuEKE

    Seriously, what is it with Hollywood wanting to ruin our childhoods so badly? Well, I guess a Brave Little Toaster reboot probably won’t be as bad as that Swan Princess monstrosity, and I could see the characters and settings working easily in CGI.

  • http://www.wordflow.webs.com/ Invisible_Jester89

    Oh don’t you FUCK with my Toaster, Hollywood. So help me, don’t you even so much as TOUCH my fucking Toaster. I will stab someone.

  • http://www.wordflow.webs.com/ Invisible_Jester89

    NO! Not Swan Princess… :c

    Why does everything that I enjoy in this world have to be destroyed? Toaster, Swan Princess, the Joker…

    … At least I still have my webshows. Hollywood hasn’t gotten its greedy paws on Marble Hornets yet! Now I’m going to go read twenty Slenderblogs at once and cry. Profusely.

  • Anonymous

    This movie was horrifyingly depressing for me as a kid. In retrospect, I can’t help but wonder if I was already having emotional attachments to inanimate objects, and that’s why it scarred me so badly, or if I developed that attachment after watching the movie.

  • http://twitter.com/XandraDust Alexis the Unicorn

    Okay, I absolutely hated Brave Little Toaster when I was little. The entire idea was extremely creepy to me, and the plot didn’t bode too well either. But even with my circumstances towards the movie, that idea is just wrong. I mean, seriously? An iphone? Who’s gonna even accidentally abandon an iphone? It’s pretty much the number one thing people keep track of when on vacation.

  • http://twitter.com/mellystar92 Melissa Fife

    No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

  • Anonymous
  • http://www.facebook.com/michael.mcgill1 Michael McGill

    The original was garbage, so there’s no way to ‘desecrate’ it

  • Benjamin Eugene NElson

    Yah, that picture sums it up pretty well doesn’t it?

  • Anonymous

    I hope it continues to get shelved for years on end

  • stellarwing

    The movie was based on a book, so I’m not sure what it has to do with
    Toy Story. Also they weren’t “accidentally” abandoned, they were left
    there on purpose; they were just random old appliances they would use while vacationing.

  • Anonymous

    Um… how would the iPhone get around? Also is that F-ed up clown going to be in it and will the air conditioner still commit suicide…?

  • Eugene

    Actually, the guy was going to go back for them. but when he got there, the appliances had already left for the city for him.