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Don't Panic

Theater Hires Ninjas To Silence Noisy or Texting Patrons (Basically)

Ok, so you know those spandex full body suits? The ones that at least one dude is wearing at every con, usually in a shade of I’m-invisible-to-green-screen neon green? Well, apparently this is what happens when you are the owner of a business that runs on selling those suits in all manner of shades and styles, and you decide that you’re fed up with annoying people in the movie theater, and you’re not going to take it anymore.

Says Morphsuits co-founder Gregor Lawson:

I’m a big fan of going to the cinema, but there’s an unspoken code of conduct when you’re watching a movie that some people just don’t understand. Then when some fans were discussing being ninjas in their Morphsuits on our Facebook page I had a eureka moment. I thought I’d find a cinema and see if we could bring a light hearted taskforce to the aid of movie fans.

And that’s why London’s Prince Charles Cinema now features people in black Morphsuits who hand out in theaters and descend swiftly on those who flaunt moviegoing etiquette. Their only payment is getting to see the movie free. /Film got this eyewitness testimony:

I normally hate noisy people in cinemas, but I got a call from my friend just as the movie started and thought I could get away with taking it. The last thing I expected was two completely blacked-out people suddenly appearing by our seats and give me and my mates a warning to shut up. It was actually pretty terrifying at first, but then I realised it was a bit of a laugh and a great way to make it clear what I was doing was having an impact on those around me. It certainly made me hang up and shut up for the rest of the film.

Sorry, Mr. Lawson, that’s not “light hearted.” That’s terrifying. Well, okay, those folks are probably polite and friendly, and not overtly trying to be any scarier than being dressed in all black and having no face would make them, but man. I would leave my phone at home rather than run the miniscule risk of somehow losing my right mind and trying to check the time and getting approached by someone in a black Morphsuit in a dark theater.

So perhaps I’m playing right into their hands… Hm.

(pic via Dr. McNinja. Story from /Film via The FW.)


  • Val K.

    It’s a step in the right direction. With movie ticket prices so high, I expect to be able to enjoy a movie without interruption. Blue screen glare from texting is as bad as talking on the phone. People forget that others are around them sometimes. It’s a gentle reminder to stop being a jerk.

  • Travis Kyle Fischer

    This is an awesome idea!

  • Steven Ray Morris

    brilliant. let’s bring it over to the states too.

  • Jack

    I know it sounds harsh but I would be one for theaters banning cell phones completely. When we go to movies we leave ours in the car. There’s no reason a call or text can’t wait for a few hours unless you’re an EMT or Fire Dept.

  • Anonymous

    Last I heard major theaters in the states were looking at making texting officially allowed. I remember readying something about major runners coming together to discuss it and only one person spoke against the idea. Lets hope it never happens.

  • Zach Gaskins

    It’d be a reasonable idea in America were it not for our troubles with gun violence. Imagine if someone was carrying and got spooked by one of these individuals.

    I guess I’d feel different if TDKR didn’t have the incident it did.

  • Anonymous

    I have a standing policy with Morphsuits, if I see one, I’m walking away. They are too creepy, and, in my opinion, there’s something seriously wrong with anyone who would wear them. If movie theatres start to have people wearing them inside just nope.

  • Matt Graham

    But Cineplex Theaters have the awesome TimePlay game that you play on your phone. I’ve gotten so many free movies, digital rentals, and popcorn savings (free popcorn with a drink purchase every week? Yeah!).

    But really, I feel people just need to show common courtesy before we write a rule in stone, and all in the name of a few ill-mannered people.

  • Wulfy

    Heh, I go to that cinema, it’s one of the few in London that show old movies. Glad I always remember to turn my phone off! Beware the ninjas!

  • Skemono

    You mean this?

  • Anonymous

    There it is, yes and thank you.

  • Benjamin Eugene NElson

    One of the most amazing things I have ever seen at the theater wasn’t a movie. It was a young mother leaving even though the movie had just started cuz her kid was crying. If I had the money I would’ve paid for another ticket for her.

  • Benjamin Eugene NElson

    The rules aren’t written in stone?

    Wheaton’s law.. nuff said.

  • Benjamin Eugene NElson

    I think you overestimate the amount of gun violence in America Zach.

  • Benjamin Eugene NElson


  • Nick Whitney

    The Prince Charles Cinema is probably the bet cinema I’ve ever been to (went on Monday for Leon/Fifth Element double bill). It has a different kind of crowd going there; people that are all about the movies. So whilst this is a cool story, it’s just a promotional thing. When I was there this week there were no ninjas *sad face*, but that’s because they’re not really needed there *happy face*.

  • Anonymous

    I wish someone would do this in the UK. I’m sick to death of having to pay £8 to try really hard not to let annoying twats talking and shining their phone in my face ruin my film! Seeing a couple of guys in black morph suits jump at one would seriously make my day!