comScore Wynonna Earp Recap: Episode 9, Bury Me With My Guns On | The Mary Sue
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Wynonna Earp Recap: Episode 9, “Bury Me With My Guns On”

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Hear ye, hear ye, it’s the episode all you thirsty shippers have been waiting for. Multiple ships too. What have we done to deserve such a blessing? Speaking of thirsty, there’s also a lot of salt in this episode, and the return of the Stone Witch. Grab your tasers, because it’s on.

After her traumatic experience with Jack, and learning that her father and BoBo were buddies, Wynonna lets loose. She gets drunk and sloppy at Shorty’s and when Doc sees her struggling with something, he steps in. In the bathroom, after a bit of puking, Wynonna confesses that she thought she’d feel different after killing the seven. Like it would bring her peace or some sense of satisfaction, or even relief, but all she feels is angry and wound up. Doc knows a thing or two about that, and he suggests that perhaps Wynonna should embrace a little of that rage inside of her.

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Outside of BoBo’s shed, a group of Revenants are guarding the bones and talking shit about the Stone Witch. Lo and behold, the Stone Witch herself shows up with a snappy comeback and an AK-47 and mows down the Revs where they stand.

The next morning, Wynonna shows up at the precinct, fresh as a daisy dressed in head to toe Hot Topic. She tells Dolls she woke up with a mission, one that she hopes will fill this empty void inside of her—kill the rest of the Revenants with a quickness. Thing is, Dolls is about to kill her buzz. The Black Badges want Wynonna to take a physiological assessment, and as someone who was subjected to countless tests of this sort when she was a child in institutions, she rightfully bristles at the notion.

She goes through the motions anyway, delivering her trademark snappy lines with snark. However, when the analyst starts questioning her traumatic flashbacks, the meter betrays Wynonna’s tough demeanor. It gets worse from there when Wynonna’s past and sexual activity come into question.

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Wynonna is furious with Dolls who did nothing to stop the invasive questioning. Dolls tries to skirt around it all, but Wynonna needs to know he has her back. She asks him is he cares about her, but he can’t bring himself to say anything. (Probably because he cares way too much, and he knows it.) Wynonna takes his refusal like a punch to the gut, and to add insult to injury, she’s been suspended from duty.

Over at Shorty’s, Waverly watches with concern as Gus meets with a shady fella offering to buy the bar on behalf of his client. One of the locals tries to hit on her, but she shoots him down pretty quickly, and once Wynonna arrives, he skedaddles. Waverly tells her sister about the meeting happening with Gus and the real estate agent, and Wynonna can sense a dirtbag from a mile away. She follows the guy into the bathroom and whips out Peacemaker. The guy is so scared, he pees his pants. Realizing she nearly killed an innocent human, Wynonna lets him run out, and is left only with the horrible thought that she may have killed him.

The Stone Witch is tired of waiting for BoBo to honor his end of their deal, so she takes matters into her own hands. She takes some bones from one of the sons, and combines it with the nearly complete skeleton of the other. After some witchy words, the bones turn to flesh. Unfortunately, the fact that Waverly smashed the skull isn’t doing this guy any favors. It’s revenge time!

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Back at the homestead, Wynonna is venting about Dolls to Doc over some cheap whiskey. She wanted Dolls to rescue her, as much as she doesn’t want to admit it. Doc shares that Dolls may not exactly be the honorable chap that Wynonna thinks he is. She’s comfortable enough with Doc to tell him that she was so focused on killing someone today, that she almost killed a human. Doc gets it, and he shares his disturbing but brutally honest thoughts with her—that there is a power in taking a life and there is no feeling that matches the intensity of that deed. It’s something that bonds them, this secret. Wynonna grabs Doc and kisses him. When she touches his shoulder wound, he recoils briefly but soon gets back to business.

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Also getting down to business is Officer Haught, who has recovered from her injuries, and wants some freaking answers. She compiles a report for the Sheriff about all he batshit crazy things that have been happening in Purgatory, but he writes it off, at least in front of her. She leaves disheartened, but runs right into Waverly, which at least puts a smile on her face. They have a major and adorable misunderstanding in which Haught thinks they are taking about the weirdness happening in the town, but Waverly thinks they are talking about their hotpants for each other. Frustrated, Haught leaves in a huff and Waverly is as confused as ever.

The Stone Witch tries to leave town with her CreatureSon in tow, but she’s stopped by BoBo and his minions. BoBo wants “the lead” but the Stone Witch just wants out of town. BoBo doesn’t take kindly to her breaking their deal, and as punishment, he sets fire to the remaining bones, which caused CreatureSon to internally combust. The Witch’s anguish signals something in Doc, who is mid-sexytimes with Wynonna, and he knows where to find her. Nothing like a little post-coital revenge. They get dressed and Wynonna tries to calm Doc and warn him that if he kills the Witch, he’ll probably die too. She gets a call from Dolls, which she ignores, and when she turns around, Doc is already gone.

At the precinct, the Sheriff rescues Dolls from a rogue coffeemaker and offers him a swig of scotch instead. Just like Haught, Sheriff Neadley knows there is some seriously weird stuff happening in Purgatory. He gives Dolls a chance to tell him the truth. He also hands over a thick file of info on BoBo and his associates. Dollls reiterates that his work is classified, but there may be a chance to work together depending on the case. The Sheriff invites Dolls to join him for happy hour at Shorty’s to look over the files, and Dolls accepts.

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Officer Haught finds a pissed off Waverly walking along the frigid road. Don’t worry, Waverly has her white hot embarrassment from earlier to keep her warm. She is eventually won over by Haught and her dimples, and hops in the cruiser where they enjoy their first lesbian processing event. Between Gus selling Shorty’s and these new and intense feelings for another woman, Waverly is feeling lost and frustrated. Haught can’t seem to say anything right, and her attempts to comfort Waverly, just confuse her even more. It’s a scene that is utterly recognizable for any queer girl, especially when Waverly tells Haught they can be friends. For Haught, who thought they were finding common ground, it stings.

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Still stuck in Purgatory in the light of day, Doc finds a desperate Stone Witch, willing to give him anything to help her escape BoBo. Doc and BoBo find some common ground over their hatred for the Stone Witch, but they are interrupted by Wynonna and Peacemaker. When she prepares to send BoBo back to hell, it’s Doc who stops her with a gun pointed at her head. When she stands down, Doc draws his gun on BoBo for failing to come through on his promise to deliver the Witch to Doc. He even tries to convince the other Revenants present that BoBo is a liar who has no intention of fulfilling his promise to them either. To save face, BoBo hands over the Witch to Doc, as promised. As he leaves, BoBo delivers a cryptic message to Wynonna about a surprise that waits for her.

At Shorty’s the Sheriff leaves Dolls to do some observing of the patrons, while Waverly confronts Gus about selling the bar. Gus tells Waverly it’s time that she spread her wings and followed her heart. She hands her a check to help fund her future, and gives her blessing for Waverly to find her own life and love.

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One of BoBo’s minions, Peepers, shows up at the bar with a message for Wynonna. Since she’s not there, he simply sits and waits with a maniacal grin. Luckily Dolls makes him as a Rev right when he walks in.

Once they get the Stone Witch alone, she tries to use her powers to retrieve her special knife and stab Wynonna in the face. Thank goodness for that coffee can shield. Doc binds the Witch with the ribbon the Blacksmith gave him, which turns as hard as steal once it wraps around her wrists. Wynonna and Doc toss insults at each other, which delight’s the Stone Witch to no end. “How many Earps can you fail?” she asks Doc. When he aims his pistol at her head, she offers to spill the beans on the Earp curse if Wynonna makes a deal not to kill her. Hmmm. Well it appears we are at an impasse.

The Witch does indeed spill. She did what she did to Doc because she wanted to hurt Wyatt. Doc was the person he cared about more than anything, and after he found out about Doc’s deal with her, Wyatt was heartbroken. He did look for Doc, something Doc didn’t realize, but knowing that Doc lived a century thinking that Wyatt hated him, was delicious revenge for the Witch. Doc tries to shoot the Witch, but Wynonna stops him, knowing that it will kill him too. Plus, she made a deal. She has a better idea for dealing with Ms. Constance “Stone Witch” Clootie than death. They drive to the salt flats and Wynonna hands Doc a shovel. The salt will stop the Witch from using her powers, and keep her very much alive and miserable. After being buried up to her neck, the Witch tells Wynonna about the lead that BoBo so desperately needs to escape Purgatory.

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As the Witch’s pleas go unanswered, Doc and Wynonna bury the hatchet and are about to grab a drink until Wynonna gets an urgent text from Dolls. She heads off to meet him, as Doc considers the Witch’s lonely fate. Perhaps revenge doesn’t taste as sweet as he thought it would. Kind of salty, isn’t it, Doc?

Now, I consider myself a bit of a connoisseur of queer lady romance scenes. (I’ve seen nearly every one in pop culture. I’m not kidding.) This one, nears the top of the list because in this universe of undead bad guys, magic guns and powerful witches, Waverly and Nicole Haught’s romance is grounded in authenticity. After hearing Gus’s words of wisdom, Waverly rushes over to the precinct to find Haught. Like a tiny tornado, Waverly sweeps in and starts shutting all the blinds in the Sheriff’s empty office. In the boldest of bold moves, Waverly closes the door and silences Haught’s questions with a hungry kiss.

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Waverly, who is a good five inches shorter than Haught, manages to push the be-dimpled cop onto the waiting couch. Haught stops the kiss because as much as she’s enjoying it, she’s confused as hell. Waverly tells Haught that her whole life, she’s always wanted to do things that scare her. The thing is, when the thing that scares you, that makes your pulse race and your heart pound, wants you right back—well, that’s downright terrifying. “I scare you,” Haught says, not as a question but a revelation because every queer girl knows that feeling well. Waverly keeps going, letting her vulnerability trickle from her lips until it feels like a waterfall. She tells Haught that she doesn’t know what she’s doing, but to Haught, she’s doing everything just right.

Here’s where the scene elevates itself. Haught gives Waverly the confidence to take control. “Maybe you should make me [stop talking],” Haught challenges Waverly with a tug on her scarf. But it’s not a dare—it’s permission. Consent, shared power and passion. Haught can’t stop smiling even as she and Waverly kiss like it’s the last kiss on Earth. Haught maneuvers herself on top of Waverly, and as things get steamier (and they do, thank you lawd) she makes sure to look into Waverly’s eyes and silently tell her that everything will be better than all right.

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Dolls has news for Wynonna. She passed her test! How? Well, don’t worry about that. Also, he has a gift for her. It’s Peepers! Wynonna draws her gun on the Rev, who is smiling from ear to ear. He has a message to deliver afterall. BoBo is the one who bought Shorty’s. Well, hell. And guess what’s in Shorty’s? The way out of Purgatory, y’all.

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Dana Piccoli is a pop culture critic and entertainment writer who recently relocated from New York to Greenville, SC. She’s a current writer for AfterEllen and Alloy Entertainment. She’s also written for Curve Magazine, Go Magazine, and PrettyLittleLiars.com. She’s currently writing a lesbian romance novel she’s hoping you will read one day soon. You can follow her on Twitter and Tumblr.

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