Woman Says She Planned to Attend a Wedding With Her Boyfriend, Then She Asked Him if She Was Actually Invited: ‘This Isn’t Common Sense’
Is this just part of being a couple or a major social faux pas?
It can be a serious faux pas when you’re hanging out in a group and someone decides to bring their partner without informing the others. @syddddie (Sydney Drew) has a story about this and shared it on TikTok.
In her post, Drew said her boyfriend had a hard time understanding that if he is invited somewhere, it doesn’t mean she, as her girlfriend, is also automatically invited there. “It’s very sweet and wholesome cause he wants me to come everywhere with him. But I’m like, you need to make sure, like, I am allowed to come or that I’m invited before you just bring me places.”
As an example, Drew said that last year her boyfriend was invited to a wedding in Michigan, which she was also attending. Wedding invitation etiquette can be difficult to navigate, as this Connecticut man who refused a “child-free” invitation discovered.
A month before the wedding, as she was putting together a look for the event, she asked her boyfriend if she was invited. Her boyfriend allegedly said, “I’m sure it’s fine if you come.” It turned out she wasn’t officially invited as a plus one, but she seemed okay with that, unlike this wife who was astonished that not even spouses were considered as plus ones.
“That’s literally the cutest problem to have ever”
Drew cited other examples of her boyfriend inviting her to places she wasn’t invited to. She mentioned a wedding in Wyoming where 30 of the couple’s closest people were invited, and her boyfriend told her they were invited as well. However, it turned out she wasn’t.
Drew also mentioned that her boyfriend was once out with his guy friends for dinner and he asked her if she would like to join. Drew adds that there have been multiple occasions like this, including parties and engagements. “Just because you want me there doesn’t mean, like, I should be there. You can’t just invite me yourself. But I think it’s so funny. And I didn’t realize, like, this isn’t common sense to everybody, but it makes me laugh.”
Drew’s video has over 3 thousand comments, and some of them don’t even see what she says as a problem. One user wrote, “That’s literally the cutest problem to have ever.” Another said, “steak tooooo buttery lobster toooo juicyyy.”
Some people spoke about their own similar experiences. One user commented, “YES. My boyfriend got invited to a wedding and the invitation literally says “we ask that that no additional guests attended” (my name is not on the invitation) and he goes “oh well I’m sure you can just go” NOOOOO.” Another user stated, “my bf does this too… he’s like your my gf they know you’re coming like no please ASKKK or mention it at least.”
Drew’s “problem” appears to be a common topic on platforms like Reddit and Quora. On Reddit, a user asks whether it’s appropriate to bring a plus one who wasn’t explicitly invited. They explain that someone they haven’t seen in a while invited them to their wedding, but they didn’t invite this person’s friend, who also lost contact with the bride. The user wishes to bring this friend as their plus one and wants to know how others feel about it.
One user, while rejecting the idea, wrote, “Don’t bring this friend. Certainly not without testing the idea with the bride and groom. Plus-ones are intended to honor a romantic relationship most often and occasionally to help someone feel more comfortable by bringing a friend.”
Another user wrote, “Do you know you’ll be given a plus-one? Did your save the date say “YourName and Guest”? If not, you need to wait and see how the invitation is addressed…” The general consensus from these arguments seems to be that a plus-one should only be brought if explicitly allowed, which supports Drew’s position in this case.
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