Woman secretly planning to leave her husband makes a suspicious discovery on her laptop 

A woman who had been quietly planning to leave her husband of 17 years thought she had time to rebuild her finances before making her exit. Then she discovered remote access software on her laptop that she says she never installed. 

The 43-year-old shared her discovery in a recent Reddit post in r/relationship_advice, explaining that her marriage had deteriorated over the past three years. She described her husband as increasingly controlling and verbally abusive. A previous attempt to pursue divorce ended after relatives intervened, and he warned that he could make leaving difficult.

Instead, she began preparing privately. The woman separated her finances, restricted her husband’s access to some personal information, and planned to leave once she was financially secure. Unfortunately, her “controlling husband” may have found a way to control her laptop as well. 

Her laptop had an unexpected guest

The first red flag appeared on September 4 while the woman was working on music she had begun writing as a personal outlet. She said her screen suddenly went blue as though an update were underway, except she could still see her browser moving in the background and opening her Downloads folder. 

Five days later, another update prompted her to shut down the computer and restart it on airplane mode. That’s when a notification appeared saying its connection to ScreenConnect had been lost.

ScreenConnect is legitimate remote access software that allows authorized users to connect to and control computers. The Reddit poster, however, said she had never knowingly installed it and had no IT professional remotely managing her laptop.

After digging through her computer, she found that ScreenConnect had been downloaded on May 15 and records showed activity on multiple occasions. She also said she found evidence that consent had previously been granted to allow future access without another prompt.

The discovery immediately made her suspicious of her husband. Some of the activity allegedly coincided with days he worked from home, but she acknowledged that she has no proof he installed or used the software. As creepy as it sounds, there are plenty of horror stories about people spying on their spouses, some more trust-shattering than others; just like this one about a husband who confided in a nightlife worker about how he installed cameras to secretly surveil his wife in their own home. 

Reddit tells her not to ignore the discovery

Commenters were seemingly less interested in solving the mystery themselves than in urging the woman to protect herself and her son. One commenter, claiming to be an IT professional, advised her to preserve the laptop and use another device for sensitive information, while others suggested documenting what she found for her lawyer. Of course, technology has a habit of exposing relationship problems, as one husband’s suspicious text from his “work wife” recently demonstrated. At this point, it’s easy to be convinced that technology is a “girl’s girl.”

Another commenter also pointed out an important alternative explanation: ScreenConnect has reportedly been exploited by scammers to gain remote access to computers. Suspicious software does not automatically equal a suspicious spouse.

Still, the woman said the discovery changed her timeline. She initially planned to wait until a trip to visit family at the end of October before leaving, but later told commenters she would meet with her lawyer and begin putting her plans into motion sooner.

Whether her husband had anything to do with the mysterious, remote access remains unknown. Still, discovering that someone may have had a front-row seat to the exit plan she was trying to keep private is a huge reason to move up the departure date. If her husband is indeed the one behind the device hijacking, then she’d better make sure her laptop divorces his remote access too.

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