I Got Called Out by This “Without Saying Your Age” Meme So I’m Calling You Out Too

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Every now and then a meme shows up that knocks the nostalgia back into you. This? Is one of those memes.

There’s this thing my brain does where it forgets that some of the stuff I was into has been deemed old. Pop culture feels endless to me, so sometimes I’ll talk about a series and a younger person will go, “Huh?” Back when I went to conventions (lol remember those?) one of the cosplays I had was of Rainbow Brite and I completely forgot that she was from the 80s, so yeah, there’s gonna be folks who have no clue who she is.

It doesn’t bother me, I just find it amusing.

I was ready to let this meme go but then? I saw this response.

Looooord!!!

I hadn’t even thought about this ad in centuries, but as soon as I heard Michael Bolton it all came rushing back to me. It wasn’t the song itself, no, it was the art direction, to the point that I remembered the song order and the exact lyrics that were about to be played in the commercial. That truly was my 2:43 am back in the days of staying up late for no reason other than, “I’m a kid who’s awake right now.”

So now I gotta respond with a whole host of nostalgia, unleashing a time capsule of memories from a time filled with pink bedrooms, Super Nintendos, and staying out until the streetlights came on.

Challenge accepted!

Okay, it wasn’t really a challenge whatever let’s go!

  • This musically charged HBO ad

You WILL be pumped about this movie you’re about to watch. It’s a feature presentation, dammit! Admittedly I couldn’t remember a lick of what the ad looked like, but the music? The music slaps, even now. Let’s watch some cable TV!

  • One person at a tiiiiime

Columbia House was a music and movie club that basically sounded way too good to be true with the whole “8 CDs for 1 cent” thing. It’s something that I was interested in cuz wow, I’m a kid who has a penny, but my parents absolutely tossed the envelopes in the trash! I tried looking up how the whole thing worked and, wow, talk about a rabbit hole.

  • We’re right here by your side (and we’re for reeeeeal!)

Remember when companies were so enthusiastic about weight loss that they made up a jingle about it? Now it’s just spam emails about miracle pills. How unoriginal. I require serenading, please and thank you.

  • The Jaws theme Corn Pops commercials

Listen. Sometimes you just gotta have your Pops, ok?

These ads for the Kellogg’s cereal would go on for years, always featuring a kid who’s minding their own business when something happens to separate them from their beloved cereal. Cue this Jaws-esque theme as they go into a downward spiral until they’re able to taste the sweet puffed corn once more.

  • You’ll get caught up in the-

To this day I still have never played Crossfire, have never SEEN Crossfire, I don’t even know what the objective is. I do know to NOT get caught up in the-CROSSFIREEEEE!!!

  • These horrifying Gushers ads

WHO APPROVED THIS?!

  • 1-800-COLLECT

I will never forget having relatives use this to call when they got home from a long trip and quickly saying “I’m home don’t accept the call” so that no one had to pay for it. Yes, once upon a time, the way to make long-distance calls was to call collect and phone companies were vying for our payphone quarters to make the call.

Why quarters?

Well, once upon a time we had payphones…

  • The ultimate gaming clapback

Genesis does what NintenDON’T?!

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

  • This particular Mortal Kombat ad

I’m pretty sure some folks thought kids were actually about to riot in the streets. Speaking of totally in your face ads:

  • This ain’t no swim in the kiddie pool

This is why our parents thought we were out here worshipping Satan. Chill, Sci-Fi Channel DAMN!

  • Here’s a more wholesome anime ad

Buh-bye Queen Beryl.

Sad Bri fact: I never got a hold of these dolls. I wanted them SO BAD.

  • Something cute, environmental, and pet friendly to play us off

How many of you watched this and ignored that 1-2 weeks comment and thought the plant would instantly grow? Just me? Cool cool cool cool cool.

Welp, it’s official, I’m old according to this list. Are you old, too? Got something to add that ages you more than I just aged myself?

(Image: Columbia)

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Author
Image of Briana Lawrence
Briana Lawrence
Briana (she/her - bisexual) is trying her best to cosplay as a responsible adult. Her writing tends to focus on the importance of representation, whether it’s through her multiple book series or the pieces she writes. After de-transforming from her magical girl state, she indulges in an ever-growing pile of manga, marathons too much anime, and dedicates an embarrassing amount of time to her Animal Crossing pumpkin patch (it's Halloween forever, deal with it Nook)