William Shatner as Jim Kirk in Star Trek
(CBS)

William Shatner Will Torture Our Ears Once More With a New Christmas Album

I only want this if it's got the version of "Row Your Boat" from The Final Frontier.

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Bridge to Captain Kirk. I’m receiving an urgent message from Starfleet. It says, “Please stop trying to make your musical career happen. It’s never going to happen. It’s only logical that you quit while you’re ahead.”

William Shatner, who will forever be known for playing Captain James Kirk and being an MRA on Twitter, is releasing a Christmas album on October 26. (Right in time for Halloween!) Titled “Shatner Claus,” the album marks Shatner’s tenth studio recording and first Christmas album. It will feature 13 songs and 12 collaborations with artists like Brad Paisley and Iggy Pop; most of them will be old favorites, with one new song, titled “One For You, One For Me.”

It’s no “Deck The Halls With Lots of Tribbles,” or “Spock The Pointy-Eared Vulcan” but hey, nothing’s perfect.

In their article on Shatner’s album, Comic Book Resources talked about Shatner’s overdramatic style of “singing,” which is oftentimes parodied. You never quite forget the first time you heard Jim Kirk scream his way through “Lucy In The Skies With Diamonds” as if he were doing some aggressive slam poetry. It’s likely that this album will be equally parody-able, and I, personally, am looking forward to just making some Trek jokes about literally everything that happens on the record.

Shatner is the fourth Star Trek cast member to release an album, alongside Nichelle Nichols, Leonard Nimoy, and George Takei. Thankfully, we were spared a full set of albums to go along with the crew, as Walter Koenig, as well as the late DeForest Kelley and James Doohan, knew when enough was enough. I mean, I’m still bitter we never got that Original Series musical episode, but maybe that was for the best, because while some of the cast, like Nichols and Takei, were blessed with musical talent, others were not.

Shatner is most famous nowadays for being a mens’ rights activist and general rude person on social media. The Mary Sue has written article after article on his behavior; he’s very fond of yelling “misandry!” and decrying the evils of “SJWs” and “snowflakes.” Basically, picture an aging Captain Kirk who gets radicalized on Starfleet’s version of Reddit when Spock and Bones aren’t looking, and you’ve got an accurate idea of who Shatner is now. Sadly, it’s become his legacy almost as much as Kirk.

I love Captain Kirk; he’s one of my favorite sci-fi characters, and it pains me that the actor who played him has devolved into self-parody and espouses a toxic worldview, but here we are, facing a future where Shatner will continue to take to Twitter to behave like your least favorite uncle at Thanksgiving and release an album literally no one asked for. You can pre-order the CD or vinyl on Amazon, and if you do please tag us in your livetweeting of how ridiculous it is.

(via Comic Book Resources, image: CBS)

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Author
Kate Gardner
Kate (they/them) says sorry a lot for someone who is not sorry about the amount of strongly held opinions they have. Raised on a steady diet of The West Wing and classic film, they are now a cosplayer who will fight you over issues of inclusion in media while also writing coffee shop AU fanfic for their favorite rare pairs.