The “white couple adopts an Asian baby” trope is something we’ve seen a lot of in media, and it’s something I’ve always been interested in regarding Lily on And Just Like That and Sex and the City. When Charlotte York and Harry Goldenblatt struggle to conceive, they adopt Lily from China, and she becomes their one little darling up until the point when Charlotte miraculously conceives a second child, Rock. With two kids, the York-Goldenblatt family becomes fuller and happier.
At least, on the surface. When And Just Like That was first announced as a revival of SatC, I started thinking about Lily a lot. I wondered how on Earth they were going to write her character, and if they were even tactful enough to broach the subject of her Chinese heritage at all, let alone in a way that’s thoughtful. Then, throughout the first season of And Just Like That, I found myself disappointed, but not surprised, that Lily’s character was both whitewashed and reduced to a stereotype.
On the one hand, her character arc never really explored who she was, beyond getting her period and having a sex-talk with her mom. On the other hand, her main character traits were that she was demure and played piano—you know, like all Asian kids, apparently. Although credit where credit’s due, her actress, Cathy Ang, is a very talented pianist in real life and performed all her scenes authentically.
Going into season 2 last week, I didn’t really have high hopes that they’d do anything better with Lily. If anything, I was getting ready to cringe at whatever they had in store for her, alongside all the other POC in the show. However, Lily seems to be undergoing a metamorphosis, turning her interest in music into something that’s wholly her own and rebelling against Charlotte in order to make that happen. She attempts to get her parents to buy her new music equipment, and when they tell her she needs to make her own money, she sells all the bougie clothes her mother bought her to buy it herself. Thus, Lily is stepping out of her family’s shadow and starting to make her own presence on the show.
So far, we’ve last seen her singing an original song for her family (plus Anthony) in a scene that’s meant to make us cringe, as she’s basically singing about how sad she is that she’s so privileged, living in a gilded cage, all of that. But the scene has made me more curious than ever regarding how they’re going to write Lily moving forward. Clearly, they want her to have a bigger role—the real question is “Are they even capable of doing so in a way that’s at all meaningful?”
Identity crisis
Growing up, many of my friends were also Asian, and some of them were adopted with white parents. Some chose to make more Asian friends, while others either rejected their Asianness or simply didn’t care much about it. Either way, I often saw two things happening at once: Their experiences were entirely unique to their own circumstances, and they were still affected by their race because of the society we live in. The tricky thing is that they were seldom given proper guidance from their parents on how to navigate this, and often, white adopters will choose Asian children because they are “white-adjacent” in the eyes of our supposedly post-racial society.
This puts these children on a strange borderline that goes unexamined far too often. I feel like And Just Like That wants us to smile and nod as it pats itself on the back for being so “inclusive,” yet ultimately that inclusivity is only skin-deep if it doesn’t challenge the very real issues it creates. In the case of Lily, I see Charlotte doing her best to be a good mother, and I see how Lily is loved ardently by her parents. But if it was so difficult for Charlotte to wrap her head around Rock’s non-binary identity, I cannot imagine that woman being capable of acknowledging Lily’s Chinese identity in a way that’s meaningful and productive.
At best, I can see Charlotte encouraging Lily to take Mandarin classes and join some Asian youth groups. At worst, I can see her having a meltdown should Lily ever decide to look up her birth parents. And at its most expected, I can see nothing at all coming from this, because AJLT‘s attempt at “being woke” is ultimately superficial and the writers likely don’t even see Lily as a “real” Asian girl.
What I’m hoping for
Ideally, Lily’s story of coming into her own will inevitably touch on her race. She’ll start to question not just her privileged upbringing and what she wants in her life, but also how she fits into the world as an Asian girl adopted by an upper-class white family. We’ll see her make Asian friends and figure out just how much that part of her identity means to her. And, we’ll see how that part of her identity affects her, because you can’t just erase someone’s race in the world we live in.
Realistically, I see Charlotte having a fight with Lily over her pulling away from being her “perfect little girl.” In that scenario, I want Lily to bite back. I want her to ask why she was raised like a white girl and when Charlotte inevitably says something like “We didn’t raise you with race in mind!” I want Lily to humble her immediately and brutally. I love Charlotte, but it’s always been a point of frustration for me that Lily was treated solely as her “cute little princess.” I want Charlotte, and the show, to acknowledge that Lily’s identity is just as worthy of recognition and acceptance as everyone else’s.
… Of course, I realize I’m asking this of the same show that gave everyone an “emotional support POC best friend.” So hey, at the very least, I hope Lily’s piano-playing claims yet another victim. Lily Goldenblatt will have her revenge on New York City.
(featured image: Max)
