gretchen wieners crying In a classroom
(Paramount Pictures)

Happy Birthday to the Most Important Piece of History

Today is an important day. July 4th ushers in plenty of Americans heading to cook-outs and spending the day in the sun. Many are celebrating historical events and joining together to watch fireworks. I am going to pretend it is for another important moment in our collective past. 

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Every year, we make jokes about Steve Rogers, we salute America’s ass, or we just chant “USA USA” whenever we are all together. But many of us are learning about an important fact.

Sure, America is celebrating her birthday but the more important holiday today is celebrating the 100th birthday of the Caesar Salad. And if we are being honest, that is honestly the best news. Nothing quite hits like a Caesar Salad and so if that means the fireworks that are going off are for the best salad around, that’s fine by me. I salute you, you romaine lettuce goodness.

She looks so good for her age. According to Po0 Crave (very credible source), Caesar Salad has some great advice for getting to 100. When asked what is the key to looking good at her age, she told the “outlet” her routine. “One pack of Marlboro Reds a week, no more.. no less. Sex, everyday. Staying drama free, and knowing your worth.”

America is celebrating this iconic day the only way we know how: By ignoring the actual holiday to praise how good a Caesar salad is.

And really, can you blame us?

It is honestly a gift from us Italians. You’re welcome.

There is nothing quite as good as a Caesar salad in the summer

I love a good Caesar salad. They’re refreshing, crisp, and I could probably eat them every day of my life. I don’t understand why Caesar salads are not the go-to 4th of July treat but whatever. We celebrate hot dogs when we could be giving this queen her flowers.

So if you’re not really into the patriotic spirit (I don’t blame you) or if you are not even an American, why not celebrate Caesar salad on July the 4th? She has given us so much joy throughout the years and it is only right that we give her the praise she rightfully deserves!

This is for you queen. Have a wonderful 100th birthday.

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Rachel Leishman
Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. She's been a writer professionally since 2016 but was always obsessed with movies and television and writing about them growing up. A lover of Spider-Man and Wanda Maximoff's biggest defender, she has interests in all things nerdy and a cat named Benjamin Wyatt the cat. If you want to talk classic rock music or all things Harrison Ford, she's your girl but her interests span far and wide. Yes, she knows she looks like Florence Pugh. She has multiple podcasts, normally has opinions on any bit of pop culture, and can tell you can actors entire filmography off the top of her head. Her work at the Mary Sue often includes Star Wars, Marvel, DC, movie reviews, and interviews.