Okay so I literally just found out about House Velaryon today, bro. Kyle told me. And I was like “yo who the fuck do these guys think there are?” Like my House and the other Houses have been on Westeros campus for centuries and we’ve been all been working really hard building our reputations and throwing chill feasts. And then these Velaryon dudes just show up out of no where and act like they own the place cause they’re tight with House Targaryen a.k.a ‘House of the Dragon‘? That’s fucked, bro. And apparently they act this way because their leader, Coryls Velaryon (embodied by Prince of Persia actor Steve Toussaint), thinks he’s the shit. So I’m like “hell nah.” So me and the other Houses got together and threw a feast and invited this guy so we could vibe check him. Hard.
And he passed.
Bro, I’m not lying when I tell you that Cory is seriously the chillest dude I’ve ever met. Like he’s the shit. First off, he told me his nickname is The Sea Snake, and I’m like “bruh that’s honestly hardcore.” And this dude earned it. Seriously he’s been on the rowing team doing ocean shit for like ever. Like he first crossed the ocean when he was six with his uncle and I’m like “damn I wish I had an uncle like that.” He became a sea captain (of the rowing team) when he was 16. Wild. And this dude has been everywhere. The Summer Isles. All over Essos. He hung out with those fish dudes at Ib. He even sailed beyond the fucking Wall into the Shivering Sea cause he was looking for a northern route around Westeros campus. Like that’s ballsy. Apparently he went to Qarth once and bought like 20 ships and loaded that shit up with mad spices and silk and elephants and shit. Then he sailed back to Westeros and got rich as shit. Like seriously this dude was richer than the Lannisters and the Hightowers. Then he told me he built a new motherfucking frat castle with all that money and called it High Tide. Sick. By then his dad died (bummer) and he became the head of House Velaryon and Lord of the Tides (seriously this guy’s got mad epithets and they’re on-fucking-point).
So right now he’s super tight with the Targaryens cause he married one of them (nice) and he was on the small council and shit. But he actually told me that there’s some drama with them cause he and his wife’s unborn kid didn’t get picked to be the new heir to the throne and I’m like “bro that’s so fucked.” So right now he’s mostly chilling in Driftmark (his island) with his fam. He invited me to come by sometime and I’m honestly so hyped. I’ve never sailed across the ocean before, but seriously, don’t tell him that. I don’t want him to think I’m not cool.
Featured Image Credit: Warner Bros.
