WE'RE ALL DOOMED - Trump vs. Biden ft. "Weird Al" Yankovic

Weird Al Auto-Tunes the Presidential Debate in New Music Video

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If you’re still reeling from the relentless shit show that was Tuesday’s presidential debate, good news: you’re not alone. And while most of us are relying on a powerful combination of social media, wine, and processed sugar to process that mess, American treasure Weird Al Yankovic is right there with us. The comedy legend released a new song yesterday via The New York Times website, called “America Is Doomed, The Musical.”

The video features Yankovic moderating the debate, with Auto-tuned clips of Donald Trump and Joe Biden chiming in. Yankovic teamed up with The Gregory Brothers, of “Songify the News” fame, formerly known as “Auto-Tune the News.” The Gregory Brothers are best known for Auto-tune masterpieces the “Bed Intruder Song” and the theme song for Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

The video begins with Weird Al screaming “People are breathing out this living poison trying to float into my orifices, I lost my car keys, I had to steal my neighbor’s segway to get here today, and on the way I crashed into this dumpster, and some kids were making a video and now I’m on TikTok I can’t!” before being informed via earpiece that he can’t be hysterical despite the state of the world.

Weird Al then launches into some scatting before questioning the candidates, asking “2020 is a raging hellscape, any ideas on how to stop a world-wide plague?” We then get some of the debate highlights (or lowlights honestly) with the Auto-tune treatment, which makes Trump’s ridiculous claims even more absurd. Weird Al looks incredulously on while Trump croons about bringing back football.

Weird Al jumps in with some solid jokes like, “If the supreme court is truly supreme, where’s the guac, ground beef and sour cream?” He chimes in with the chorus that verbalizes what we’re all feeling, namely, “We’re living in the apocalypse, I’m begging you to put a stop to this, pretty please?”

He then sums up 2020 by singing, “Exploding trees, Covid-19, hurricanes with names past the letter ‘Z’, conspiracy theories about vaccines, murder hornets coming from across the sea!” It’s an accurate representation of the hot garbage grab bag that is this cursed year. Honestly, 2021 can’t come soon enough.

We don’t know whether or not Weird Al and the Gregory Brothers will Auto-tune the future debates, but considering how they knocked this one out of the park, I wouldn’t mind this turning into a series. Sidebar: does Weird Al ever age? Is he immortal? I want answers.

It’s nice to know that even in these troubled times, when our country is divided and the world feels like it’s about to implode, we can all still agree on one essential truth: Weird Al Yankovic remains a delight.

(via NY Times, featured image: screencap/schmoyoho)

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Image of Chelsea Steiner
Chelsea Steiner
Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.