Welp, Twitter had a good run, but now that Elon Musk has completed his purchase of the social media platform, it looks like everything is going to hell. Musk, a self-proclaimed “free speech absolutist,” has already fired several executives and looks set to reverse the ban of human garbage fire Donald Trump. He’s also taken the company private, and rumor has it that he’s planning on job cuts. As our Vivian Kane points out, Twitter has always been a cesspool, but it was our cesspool. Now it’s Musk’s cesspool. Pack your bags and get out while you can.
Still, there were some bright spots on Twitter. Remember how people would fire off amazing one-liners that left you doubled over in laughter? Like, nestled between all the antisemitic memes and misogynist rants, there’d be a really banger joke that brightened your day and reminded you that the site had something good to offer?
Well, NBC reporter Ben Collins launched a thread to give all those jokes one last hurrah, before the site becomes nothing but a breeding ground for fascist trolls and we all have to hightail it.
Here are some of the absolute best tweets that people have shared in the thread so far. Don’t drink any beverages while you’re reading these, unless you want them coming out your nose.
Smashed Mcdouble (that’s my new band name, btw)
Mr. Peanut
This here ah, Bowsuh charactuh …
A Paris review
The formatting of the screenshot of this tweet was weird, so I pulled the original for your convenience. Trust me, though, it was in the thread.
Comrade Not a Cop
Sowing vs. reaping
Please, my wets
Roger Stone sucks so bad
Dog in a trenchcoat
Teeth
Our vast, great nation
Moon’s haunted
Rapping about Patrick Swayze
Remember that these are the best tweets compiled by the people who happen to follow this one guy, so there are surely vast, untapped oceans of more side-splitting tweets. What’s your favorite tweet of all time? Let us know in the comments!
(featured image: ALASTAIR PIKE/AFP via Getty Images)
