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For Trump, a Tuna Bout Is Not Fair Play

Yes we can ... of tuna

MOON TOWNSHIP, PA - SEPTEMBER 22: President Donald Trump speaks at a campaign rally at Atlantic Aviation on September 22, 2020 in Moon Township, Pennsylvania. Trump won Pennsylvania by less than a percentage point in 2016 and is currently in a tight race with Democratic nominee, former Vice President Joe Biden. (Photo by Jeff Swensen/Getty Images)

There’s nothing more dangerous in the hands of a protester than … a can. In this case, Donald Trump has come to warn us all about the terrible dangers of cans. Specifically, cans of Bumblebee Tuna. Well, at least in the hands of protesters. Or was it immigrants? Antifa? CANtifa? I can’t even follow any more.

Everything about that clip, and Trump’s assertion, is just bonkers. You have the President again advertising Goya products because it owns the libs or whatever. You have the false claims about antifa or whoever he’s smearing. And he’s not just doubling down on his ridiculous bags of soup claims from earlier in the year, he’s upping it to tuna. TUNA.

Now, yes, it is odd that someone who is often dumb as a rock has never heard of rocks, or protesters simply throwing whatever is around—you know, like normal people might do, though recent protests in America have largely seen violence and aggression coming from law enforcement and counter-protesters and not the protesters. But Donald Trump only understands and cares about things you can buy. If you don’t spend money on it or get money from it, it’s meaningless, pointless, and probably doesn’t exist.

Bumble Bee, for their part, had a simple response.

But that’s just the beginning of the jokes that Twitter lobbed like, well, cans of tuna at this deflated basketball in a suit yelling about nothing.

And finally, it’s easy to laugh at this, and that’s good. We need to be reminded periodically that the man pretending to be President isn’t just a racist, cruel, fascist criminal, he’s also a rambling fool. We can mock his idiocy and fight his evil, it’s fine.

And either way, we’re ready for the election to be very fishy.

(image: Jeff Swensen/Getty Images)

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Jessica Mason (she/her) is a writer based in Portland, Oregon with a focus on fandom, queer representation, and amazing women in film and television. She's a trained lawyer and opera singer as well as a mom and author.