True Blood casually sailed back into our lives last week. It was a good episode, but I didn’t find myself overly excited for the season thanks to it. Did anything make me scream in excitement or horror this week? Hit the jump to find out!
You guys, I’m so excited Rob Zombie has joined the cast of True Blood this season.
But seriously, we pick up with Jason where we left off – him careening into a tree. But Rutger Hauer saves him. Which is weird considering he outted himself as Warlow, the parent-killing vampire, last week. Oh? What’s that? He was just screwing with Jason? “I’m your fucking faerie grandfather,” he says in the best line of the episode. Back at Fangtasia, Tara is writhing in pain on the bar after being shot and Pam realizes she’s not healing. Eric attempts to pull it out but can’t with his bare hand. Why? It’s a silver bullet that emits UV light. Looks like someone’s been upgrading.
Bill is still adjusting to his newfound powers and starts screaming as we learn along with him he can feel all the vampires. He sees several being tortured or killed by humans and then goes into some sort of catatonic state in which he hangs out with Lilith. Jessica has no idea what to do and can’t shake him out of it so she orders a woman from Human Edibles for Bill to feed off of. He’s not responding to her presence but just as she’s about to give up and leave, her body starts to contort in the most awful way possible. Without being aware of it, Bill is using his powers to pull her back, breaking her body in all sorts of terrible ways until he sucks her completely dry without ever touching her. It was utterly horrifying and awesome.
Sookie…oh, Sookie. You’re determined to get back to a normal life and what do you do? Pick up a stranger wounded on the side of the road on the way to work. Sound familiar? Yeah, this echoes her first meeting with Bill. Only this time, the man she finds is half-fae like her. He was bitten by vampires for his yummy blood but chased them off with his faerie light. And she takes him back to her house. Because obviously. She eventually tells him about the faerie club but on the way there he reads her mind, asks about Bill, and puts a halt on the whole romance thing. For now.
Arlene is doing her usual “complain Sookie hasn’t shown up for her shift at Merlots” when Patrick’s wife shows up and Terry nearly runs out the back door. At first Arlene suggests he tell her the truth but after seeing the pregnant woman cry and already have the assumption Patrick ran off with another woman, she pushes for them to go that route instead. I’m sure that will solve all their problems. Meanwhile, Andy is in the faerie field pleading for his toddlers’ mom to come and help him. The kids think this is hilarious.
Some youngins’ from L.A. show up at Merlots and one of them is looking for Sam. Her name is Nicole, she knows he’s a shifter, and wants him to “come out as a shifter.” Sam’s like, “uh yeah, no, enough people are already trying to kill me, thanks.” But she’s insistant, saying it’s what all the non-humans need to fight back about the injustices. It’s not clear whether or not there’s anything different about her, I feel like she would have mentioned it if there were, but she does let him know she had mixed race grandparents who helped civil rights movement, so she knows a little something about oppression.
And then Eric put on a disguise and probably killed tumblr.
See, he was scoping out the Governor’s place and took the clothes of a man who had a meeting there. He makes it in with no problem, had some veiled chit-chat with the Governor about baby vampires and then tries to glamour him. Just one problem, he’s immune thanks to some swank contact lenses his people invented. He calls in some guards and Eric goes quietly until they’re outside and he can just fly off. But he doesn’t go far. He levitates outside the bedroom of the Governor’s daughter (who just happened to take out her contact lenses for the night) and glamours her instead.
Jason and Sookie meet back home where he introduces her to faerie grandfather Niall. Jason is really excited after seeing some of his powers and says he’s good at tracking, just like Boba Fett. Jason, you’re adorable. We find out Warlow is obsessed with the Stackhouses not just because he had a contract to own Sookie, but because they are original fae. Niall is actually a King, which Jason points out makes Sookie a faerie princess, to which Niall points out Jason isn’t a faerie prince because the genes skipped him. Niall also informs Sookie their line of fae has a secret power, oneSookie can only use once and then be fae no longer. He compares it to an atom bomb and says it will take out every vampire in its path.
Sam comes home to find Lafayette chilling on his couch after an afternoon of dressing up with Emma but before they can decide their next move, Alcide, Martha, and were-woman whose name I can’t remember, show up. They claim Luna’s exposure on television puts Emma in danger and they want to take him. Tempers flair and a fight breaks out. No one changes shape but terms are thrown around and we discover Nicole and her L.A. pals hiding in the woods filming it all.
Back at Bill’s Jessica is so scared about what’s happening to Bill, she starts praying too him. You know, just in case he’s God (Lilith says he’s not, although people will treat him as such.) In his dream-like state Lilith says Bill will know how to save all the vampires. Upon finally waking, Bill sees on the news what he saw in his visions, one of the vampires he saw tortured. Jessica asks if that means he can see the future. He assumes so and promptly has a vision of most of our main vampire cast captured and burning.
I liked this episode more than the premiere because it gave us time to spend with the characters while opening up new threads for the season. I hope Niall takes Jason under his wing rather than just focusing on Sookie. He could use some TLC. And I’m wondering just how long the Governor has been experimenting on vampires, and how no one could have noticed yet, but I’m sure we’ll see how that all plays out soon. Again, not nearly enough Lafayette.
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