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True Blood Premiere Recap: Who Are You, Really?



I can’t say I was as excited for the return of HBO’s True Blood as I was for say, Game of Thrones, but I was interested to see where the show would head after the bloody Season 5 finale. Would it pick up and return to form, much like Bill, or would it ramble on like Jason? 


I’m going to say the premiere was a Jason. We picked up exactly where we left off in the finale: shit hitting the fan at the Authority complex, everyone covered in blood, and Eric giving Pam the cold shoulder.

The newly formed Billith still appears ready to murder everything in his path and the gang runs for their lives as the building explodes behind them. After some bickering on the road, Eric, Nora, Pam, Tara, Jessica, Sookie, and Jason pull over to argue on a beach. Should they kill Bill? Should they talk about Warlow? Should they just have sex on the beach? Pam and Tara figured that last one was the best idea at the time while the topic of Warlow led to Jason threatening to kill Nora. We realize not only is Warlow most likely the vampire who killed Sookie and Jason’s parents, he’s also an important character in the Book of Lilith.

Oh, Sam, Luna, and her daughter Emma also escape the Authority building before it goes up but Luna is too wounded from shapeshifting into Steve Newlin and dies. (Lame.) But not before asking Sam to take care of Emma. (Obviously.) This scene felt a bit rushed considering the relationship the two shared but I guess there was important stuff to cover like everyone arguing over Bill.

Yeah, that was a lot of the episode.

At the beach, Jessica is called by her maker and whether it was her resistance or Billith’s new powers, she starts vomiting blood and it looks as if her heart might be ripped out. Everyone has a different idea of how their next meeting with Bill should go and seemingly go off in different directions. But not after arguing a bit more. Jason runs off on his own after cursing Sookie for caring more about vampires then family, but it’s the conversation between Eric and Pam that really hurt. He’s formally released her as his progeny but does that mean he has to be a huge jerk to her every time they speak? Eric is a bad breaker-upper.

Jessica and Sookie are mystically led back to Bill’s house where he’s practically sipping lemonade on the front porch. He’s cleaned up from his blood-soaked, demon look, but Sookie doesn’t hesitate to stake him once Eric and Nora surprise him. Only, of course, the stake does nothing. Bill has super-superpowers, seemingly can’t die, can cause earthquakes and kind of stop time? Jessica eventually sides with her maker, after Sookie asks Bill to leave town, and lets him tuck her into bed. We see some of the old Bill return but it’s hard to tell if it’s an act for Jessica’s sake or not. He certainly seems sincere while asking her to keep him grounded now that he’s capable of destroying the world and all.

Back in wolf country, Alcide has successfully killed the old pack leader but can’t take over the job until he eats part of his flesh. Which he does while in human form and is pretty gross. Martha looks on with Rikki, both worried the power will go to his head and it’s obvious it already is. Another member of the pack offers herself to him in any way she might be of help and he starts taking her up on his offer later on in the woods. Rikki intervenes and while the woman apologizes for overstepping her bounds, Rikki invites her to join them instead but issues a warning to Alcide, letting him know she’s his “number one bitch.” Which, I guess makes sense in this context. Either way, not looking forward to Alcide drifting away form his nice-guy persona.

At a deserted bottling plant, the Governor of Louisiana, Truman Burrell, meets with one of the Tru Blood manufacturers desperate to get up and running again. Turns out Truman is also desperate for that. After holding a press conference saying he holds nothing against vampires, he institutes a nighttime curfew for them as well as officially closing down any vampire-owned businesses. And that’s a problem, you see, because vampires make a lot of money for the state and he’d like that money coming in before election time. “I’m not the next Big Bad,” said the obvious next Big Bad, suggesting Tru Blood starts using this plant immediately, free of charge, so things can get back to normal.

Meanwhile, Andy is freaking out over having four or five newborn half-faeries to take care of. Arlene gives him the best pep-talk a veteran mother can give and then she and Terry give him diaper changing tips. When they were talking about how he could possibly get used to this new life, I considered the babies might have some kind of rapid growth and sure enough, they do. Just hours after introducing himself as their daddy, a group of toddlers wake him up on the couch. In clothes they apparently sewed themselves.

Jason is left hitchhiking after separating from the group and is picked up by a nice old man who seems to know an awful lot about Bon Temps. Jason pretty much uses the guy to spill out all the crap he’s been dealing with the last year, including finding out about Warlow, when the man mentions Sookie by name. I’m sorry, Jason, you hitched a ride with Warlow.

After things calm down a bit Eric gives Sookie back the deed to her house and she responds by rescinding his invitation to said house. Probably a good move after all that’s happened but Eric has sad puppy dog face on, which Nora takes notice of, and Eric quickly threatens any use of this particular weakness. Pam and Tara are back at Fangtasia, arguing over their extremely new relationship, when authorities bust in to shut them down. Neither are really prepared to give in but these guys mean business and zap Pam with a weapon that definitely does not contain wood bullets. The premiere ends with Bill hearing his name called and finding not one but four bloody, Lilith-type women in his office who proceed to disappear inside him.

I enjoyed the episode but it didn’t feel as special or exciting and I think a premiere should, and it certainly didn’t alleviate my fears the show was losing its momentum. It barely even had any of the True Blood kitsch we’ve come to know an love (Lafayette wasn’t even utilized well.). Overall, the hour was incredibly dark without a ton of character development but tons of set up for the season to come. There was Rutger Hauer though, which will probably be my main reason for watching this year. I don’t so much care about the mysteries of the show anymore but seeing the characters I know and love get interesting storylines. So far, not so good.

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Jill Pantozzi is a pop-culture journalist and host who writes about all things nerdy and beyond! She’s Editor in Chief of the geek girl culture site The Mary Sue (Abrams Media Network), and hosts her own blog “Has Boobs, Reads Comics” ( She co-hosts the Crazy Sexy Geeks podcast along with superhero historian Alan Kistler, contributed to a book of essays titled “Chicks Read Comics,” (Mad Norwegian Press) and had her first comic book story in the IDW anthology, “Womanthology.” In 2012, she was featured on National Geographic’s "Comic Store Heroes," a documentary on the lives of comic book fans and the following year she was one of many Batman fans profiled in the documentary, "Legends of the Knight."