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Here’s Your Regular Reminder of Your Mortality and That They’re Making a Trolls Movie

Sometimes you have to just sit back and marvel (no pun intended) at the things that humanity can do. We’ve created technology that can sometimes seem like magic itself, we’ve found water on Mars, and we’re still continuing to push storytelling into brave new worlds and mediums… and then there’s Trolls.

I never judge a book by its cover, and I try to do the same with movies and their trailers (unless I have to for the latter), but in this case I just… I can’t. I really don’t know what to say about this trailer except for the fact that I’ve been sitting on it for about 24 hours and I still don’t know what to say about it.

The talent looks… interesting? Anna Kendrick, Justin Timberlake, Josh Gad… but God, what? What hath motion picture science and technology wrought? I don’t want to be too mean, but, I feel some real Arby’s Nihilist vibes coming on here.

Time is, after all, a flat circle, and we are, all of us, merely echoes of our past and former lives, reverberating throughout the walls of space time in the cultural ouroboros that is the movie industry. Now let’s all go to the lobby.

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Jessica Lachenal is a writer who doesn’t talk about herself a lot, so she isn’t quite sure how biographical info panels should work. But here we go anyway. She's the Weekend Editor for The Mary Sue, a Contributing Writer for The Bold Italic (thebolditalic.com), and a Staff Writer for Spinning Platters (spinningplatters.com). She's also been featured in Model View Culture and Frontiers LA magazine, and on Autostraddle. She hopes this has been as awkward for you as it has been for her.