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Tiger Woods Machinima Revealed As Untrue!

So: Remember the patently insane machinima video describing the whole Tiger Woods affair? And how the Internet came together and laughed at it, because, wow, it looked like someone was using The Sims 3 to report the news? And how all the stars of America’s celebrity firmament tumbled directly into the Uncanny Valley?

Well, after Tiger Woods’ press conference today, we now know that that the video’s portrayal of marital fisticuffs was false. Who knew that weird Chinese tabloid videos are not to be trusted?

As Tiger said in  his press conference today,

It angers me that people would fabricate a story like that. Elin never hit me that night or any other night. There has never been an episode of domestic violence in our marriage ever.

Take that, Apple Daily! Next thing we know, Andy Dick will announce that his incidents of extreme grabbiness were all just a misunderstanding.

Original bizarre Tiger Woods machinima below:

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