Is revenge healthy? In general, no. But sometimes you have to hold someone accountable.
Such is the case in this amazing subreddit, r/AmIOverreacting. One user asked for everyone’s thoughts on a situation involving expensive beans and Baldur’s Gate 3. The user, ItWasntRealInventory, explains that he likes to buy heirloom beans and grains from a place called Rancho Gordo. They’re expensive, and you have to cook them properly in order for the purchase to be worth it. Any foodie can relate.
However, ItWasntRealInventory’s roommate has been stealing his beans. “On three times in this year I have caught my roommate (25 M) cooking (incorrectly) my beans,” he explains. “He thinks that dried foods should be a ‘shared resource’. What? He never buys beans or any other kind of good dried food, nevermind an expensive kind. I told him stop eating my beans. This week I was looking forward to making a veggie chili with some of my good beans, I got home and seen the bag was empty. Like 2 or 3 beans in there. I became enraged.”
Before I go on to describe his revenge, let me put in a quick PSA. DO NOT EAT YOUR ROOMMATE’S FOOD. Don’t do it. Don’t ever do it. That also goes for housemates and officemates. Why, in the year of our lord two thousand and twenty-four, are people still acting like barbarians and pillaging each other’s groceries? Why are you all okay with being that person? Just stop it!!
Anyway, this guy came up with the perfect revenge. A+. No notes.
“My roommate is obsessed with the video game Baldur Gate Three,” he writes. “I seen him play it all the time. So when he was out what I did is I went into his game. You have 4 characters in your ‘party’ basically. So I went to this place where there is a cliff, and I dropped all of their gear, and then picked it up and threw it down the cliff. This took me a long time. Like, hours. And then I went back to his camp and changed the party with other members, and I went back to the cliff and did the same, and I did it until every single member of his party was naked and weaponless, and then I saved the game and then I deleted all of his prior auto saves, so the only save file was the one where his gear was down a cliff.”
NO. NOTES.
So what was his roommate’s reaction, coming home and finding his entire party naked and bereft of gear? I won’t spoil it here—you can read the original thread below, or click through to read it directly on Reddit. Suffice it to say that it’s cinematic.
The story has been making its way around social media, with luminaries like Jamelle Bouie and Paolo Bacigalupi supporting him. (Sorry, Bluesky links don’t embed, so you’ll have to click through.)
https://bsky.app/profile/jbouie.bsky.social/post/3kpsemvypv32i
https://bsky.app/profile/paolobacigalupi.bsky.social/post/3kpsp452gtv2u
Is this story true? Obviously, as with any Reddit thread, there’s a chance that it’s made up. But the details in this story—the fancy beans, the hours-long revenge—make it a fantastic tale regardless. I salute you, sir, wherever you are. May you enjoy many heirloom beans to come.
(featured image: Larian Studios)
