*Gazes into your soul with cried-off mascara eyes*
Oh hello … I didn’t see you there. What was I doing you ask? Why, I was crying of course. It’s what Pisces do best, crying and astral projection. I don’t feel like talking right now. If you want to talk to someone, why not plot your rise to power with a Capricorn, or perhaps you could sexually stimulate a Virgo by talking to them about hand soaps. I would rather be all with my emotions.
*Single tear. Turns away.*
*Cries quietly for three hours*
*Turns back*
You’re still here? But whatever could you want? Do you want to watch me cry? I understand, the expression of melancholy is the most sublimely beautiful thing in existence. You may watch, or even cry with me if you desire. Why am I crying you ask? It is because I am contemplating the tragedies of the most notable Pisces from anime. I shall tell you of them, and perhaps we can cry together.
Nana Osaki
I cry for Nana Osaki, because her music speaks to me. One must only listen to the intro music of Nana to see that she is in so much pain and angst. Her tragic heartsong cried out to me through the airwaves and various streaming services, and so I weep for her. She, like all Pisces, has a darkly beautiful soul. She is a deep thinker, a musician. She is quiet, like the still and glasslike waters of a lake on a windless day. Yet like a lake, she contains mysterious depths within. Swimming in her soul, like strange and wondrous fishes, are her emotions. The joy she feels for her music, and for the men that wade into the tranquil waters of her heart. Her inescapable sense of melancholy, the waxes and wanes like the moon in the sky, but still remains ever visible even in the darkest reaches of her being. Her anger, which, rising like floodwaters, spills out of her when she is wounded with that great and terrible weapon the poets call “love”. Yes, she is a Pisces not unlike me. We are deep and eternal, like old rivers, flowing into the same ocean of longing. I cry for Nana, and perhaps Nana cries for me.
Hinata Hyuga
So too do I cry for Hinata Hyuga, the wife of Naruto Uzumaki, and a great warrior in her own rite. But for Hinata I weep tears of joy, fragile as dew drops that appear on the tender petals of wild lilies at dawn. Hinata was once a small child, both in stature, word and deed. She was meek and innocent, and she kept her head lowered much like a delicate reeds that bows to the slightest changes of the breeze. Yet like a rose, she grew beautiful and deadly. Her petals were bright and her thorns were sharp. Indeed, she became the fiercest of warriors. Her pale eyes, serene like the high blue skies of late summer, learned to cloud over and become storm-like. And with them she unleashed a deluge of terrible power. Her gentle hands turned to fists that could pummel the very stones into submission, and cut the wind until it cried for mercy. And yet she did not fight with anger, nor with hate, for the engine of her heart was powered by that noble and terrible emotion: love. It was love that was her weapon. Love for her beloved, her people, and above all, herself. I cry for her, because in her tenderness she found strength. As the mighty oak sleeps withi the tiny acorn, so too did a mighty warrior sleep within a small girl.
Mitsukuni “Honey” Haninozuko
Just as I cry for Hinata Hyuga, so too do the waters of my heart pour forth in love and honor for Honey Senpai. Bright Angel of Youth. Flower of Joy. Golden Prince of Laughter. These epithets, though fitting, are indeed unworthy of the majesty of Honey. I cry indeed for his childlike innocence, hoping against hope that he will carry it with him always like a smooth stone from a creekbed. And yet in my heart I know that someday the world shall weather him, and just as a trickling stream cuts through the very earth to become a wide river, so too do I know that frank and brutal cruelties of the world shall cut through his innocent heart. Indeed, it is already happening. Though young, the child is skilled in the art of war, and just as waves break futilely against mighty rocks of the shoreline, so too do men break apart against Honey’s deadly hands and feet. And someday, he too will be broken against the cruel shores of love. He will wash up on the desolate beach of longing and meet the pitiless gaze of the burning sun that is love unrequited. Listen, and one may hear how his heartstrings have begun to pluck the dark and tender tune of love for friend Haruhi. Shall not the lute of his heart be smashed to splinters when he realizes its melody is unheard? Haruhi longs for another, Honey’s friend Tamaki, and so the world turns cruelly on.
Yuji Itadori
I cry for Honey’s death of innocence, but indeed, the death of one’s innocence is a sweet and gentle pain when compared with the brutal stab of one’s own mortality. Yuji Itadori, a young, brave boy, is doomed to die. I have astral projected into the furthest reaches of the upper realms, and I have seen the cruel hands of causality turning the wheel of fate. I have seen Yuji’s fate, and I know that after countless battles and a thousand sorrows, Yuji Itadori will die due to the evil spirit that festers within his body. He is like a beautiful young buck of the forest, bright of eye, strong of leg, and fierce of heart. Yet he carries within him that dreadful parasite that shall be his undoing. And yet he does not weep, he does not blubber, he only says “please, allow me to fight on for longer. My work is not yet complete. O how tragic! O how noble! He fights for his friends. His lovers. For perfect strangers. He fights for noble ideas such as peace and prosperity. Indeed, his fight is far from over. And yet someday soon it shall be. He is the sacrificial lamb, destined to die to fulfill a greater purpose. I weep for both the lamb, and he that holds the knife, for it is a grim office he too must fulfill.
Light Yagami
Out of all the beautiful and tragic figures of this list, it is for Light Yagami that the lion’s share of my tears fall. It is unjust, it is cruel, it is indeed horrible that I must share a FUCKING ZODIAC SIGN WITH THIS LITTLE BIRCH. SERIOUSLY WHAT GIVES? HOW THE NAME OF JESUS H. CHRIST DID IT HAPPEN THAT THIS FUCK KNUCKLE TURNED OUT TO BE A GODDAM PISCES? HA! HA! VERY FUNNY GOD. THIS HAS TO BE SOME KIND OF COSMIC JOKE. BUT IF IT IS I’M NOT FUCKING LAUGHING. THIS GUY IS WILLING TO SELL OUT HIS OWN FAMILY TO BECOME THE “GOD OF A NEW WORLD”. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? LIKE A FLY ON A TIOLET SEAT, I AM SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF THAT I AM EVEN A MEMBER OF THE SAME SPECIES AT THIS CLOWN. AND TO BE CONNECTED THROUGH THE ZODIAC? NOPE. I QUIT. I’M DONE. I’M MAKING LIKE A MIGHTY OAK TREE AND FUCKING LEAVING.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT? GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE MY FISTS DECIDE TO WAX POETICAL ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING FAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!!
