It’s the scariest time of the year again. No, not Halloween—Christmas. From the fictional “war on” that your conservative relatives and coworkers won’t shut up about, to the obligatory capitalist orgy of present-buying that precedes days (or weeks) of pretending to like people and food you actually can’t stand because skipping even one event has long-lasting social consequences, Christmas is a lot even if you like it.
We can’t help you with most of that, but we can make things a little less scarier with our very specific gift guides. And this one will help you figure out what to buy the horror fan(s) in your life.
A Scream-ing good mug
Starting strong with a classic genre of Christmas gift, I present to you the “No, you hang up” mug. Clearly inspired by Scream, this mug has a humorous take on the creepy serial killer phone call, with Ghostface surrounded by blood spatter (in either traditional red or the ironic pastel of your choice) and the text “No, you hang up.” The pink one is my favorite because it’s giving a kind of horror coquette aesthetic and I love that, but each color has its own vibe to suit different kinds of horror fans.
A Midsommar gift that’s anything but mid
An incense burner shaped just like the temple from the commune in Midsommar where—well, we don’t want to spoil the fun. This is an incredibly disturbing item to have thought up and I salute whichever of you is responsible. I mean, I’m pretty sure I’d struggle to get past what happens in that temple to actually enjoy using it, but if your giftee is less easily grossed out and happens to appreciate clever, disturbing things (and Midsommar, of course) then this may be exactly what they need. It even comes with a special Summer Solstice incense.
DIY an edible Hereditary treehouse
While we’re on the subject of clever yet disturbing ideas, A24’s shop also brings us the gingerbread Hereditary tree house kit. This feels like one of those items designed for an extremely specific audience, but I 100% believe they’re out there, so if you know someone who makes gingerbread houses every Christmas, is really into Hereditary, and actually willing to replace their usual festive gingerbread with this, then congrats, you’ve found their ideal gift. There’s even molds for tiny gingerbread cultists, Peter, and Paimon figures—who doesn’t want to make an edible demon for Christmas?
Eldritch scents
Most people use candles to relax or set the scene for something romantic, but we all know horror fans are built different. Candles inspired by books have become surprisingly prolific—blame the booktok/bookstagram communities for that—and there are a fair number of horror-themed ones out there. I’ve decided to go with this trifecta of H.P. Lovecraft-inspired candles for my list, both because if you want to create an unsettling atmosphere then Lovecraft is absolutely your man, and because they actually sound like they smell amazing. This particular candlemaker also uses wooden wicks, which make an atmospheric crackling sound—another mark in their favor.
Snuggle up with Chucky
I don’t know why anyone would willingly bring any kind of Chucky doll into their house, but if your giftee has no such qualms (or, I don’t know, maybe you’re trying to punish them), then this Chucky character pillow (really much more of a rag doll than a pillow) and blanket could make a great gift. They can hug the little monster while huddling under a Good Guy blanket and watching the Chucky franchise, that definitely won’t lead to feelings of paranoia at all!
Pennywise mask light
Speaking of things I can’t believe anyone would let into their house, this Pennywise lamp is an absolutely unhinged object, and you can buy it for a loved one who apparently fears nothing. Like, it’s a combination of a night light and one of the scariest monsters ever created in the horror genre, and also just visually horrifying as well because the character design is excellent. Who even thinks of something like this? And are there really enough people willing to buy it to justify manufacturing a whole line of them? Personally, I would put it in the window and leave it on all night, but then I might also be a monster and you really shouldn’t get me things like this.
Build your own Creature
What’s better than an action figure? One you get to build yourself. These Creature From the Black Lagoon model kits are made using the original molds from the (sadly departed) classic toy and model maker Aurora Model Company, meaning you’re getting the original vintage design with modern materials. I’m a particular fan of his multiple layers—the outermost being transparent so you can see his innards—because it just looks really cool. If you know someone who loves classic monster movies and enjoys assembling things themselves, then this might be perfect, and Super 7 has other options if you like the idea but want a different monster.
An intimate peek behind the scenes with John Carpenter
It’s difficult to find a horror fan who isn’t into John Carpenter movies. One of the masters of the genre, Carpenter is responsible for Halloween, The Fog, Escape From New York, Halloween II, and Christine—among numerous others—and behind-the-scenes moments from these films are all featured in this book, On Set With John Carpenter: The Photographs of Kim Gottlieb-Walker. Along with Gottlieb-Walker’s photographs we’ve got commentary from cast, crew, and Carpenter himself, as well as production stills and other previously unseen glimpses behind the curtain. Something for the serious horror or Carpenter fan, this is a gift for someone who knows their stuff and really treasures every detail.
Trim the tree with Jason Voorhees
Maybe the enforced cheer of Christmas is getting you and your loved ones down. Know how you can help? Horror-themed tree ornaments! Deck the halls with sources of cinematic terror! Hang a little Jason Voorhees—complete with hockey mask and blade—from the tree to make Christmas creepy again. There’s a range of other villains available too if Voorhees isn’t to your fancy, or if you want to buy a whole squad of little friends to go with him.
Bath & Body Horror
Finishing back where we started with more traditional Christmas gift fare, if you’ve got someone to buy for who doesn’t really like tchotchkes and knickknacks, then you can’t go wrong with a set of nice bath supplies barring allergies, which you will of course have checked beforehand). May I suggest this selection of horror-themed bath bombs on Etsy? They’re vegan-friendly and highly rated. There’s a surprising amount of spooky toiletries for sale over there, so if you’re not a fan of this particular set but still like the idea, I’m sure you’ll find something you like.
(featured image: Getty Images)
