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Quentin Tarantino Is Suing True Blood Creator Over His Loud, Exotic Birds

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If you’re taking Quentin Tarantino to Disney World, do not take him to the Tiki Room.

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As we speak, a potentially epic legal battle is taking place between violence-loving director Quentin Tarantino and some exotic birds. Namely, exotic birds belonging to the creator/director of True Blood and Six Feet Under, Alan Ball. Why, do you ask, is Tarantino waging war on Alan Ball’s birds? Because of their “obnoxious pteradactyl-like screams”! Don’t you hate those?

TMZ has the documents, with Tarantino alleging that Ball’s “exotic bird menagerie” is getting in the way of his ability to write. Here are the highlights:

“On a daily basis Defendant’s Macaws, large tropical birds known for their loud squawks and screams, are place in an outdoor aviary where they emit blood-curdling screams at random intervals for 7 to 8 hours each day, Nearly every day, Mr. Tarantino and other in his home are subjected to the Macaws obnoxious pterodactyl-like screams, which are not only starling, but have also seriously disrupted Mr. Tarantino’s ability to work as a writer in his home.

“[Ball and partner Peter Macdissi] know that their birds issue blood-curdling, prehistoric sounding screams, they do not maintain the macaws in their residence, but place them in an outdoor aviary. Though one might assume that, as a fellow writer, Mr. Ball would understand and respect a writer’s need for peace and quiet while he is working, that assumption would be wrong …

I don’t think anyone wants to see a movie being made out of Angry Birds. I also don’t think anyone wants to see a remake of Alfred Hitchcock‘s The Birds. But if this means that Quentin Tarantino is going to do some kind of murderous, bloody mashup movie combining both of those things, I might have to allow myself to get pretty psyched about that. And I would most likely issue a blood-curdling, prehistoric sounding scream of joy the day that script is announced.

(TMZ, New York Magazine)

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