Stephen Miller’s Spray-On Hair Distracts From His Terrible Policies Which Are Trash
Trump's toadie sports some hair in a can and social media was there to roast him.
Senior Trump adviser and Gollum impersonator Stephen Miller appeared on the CBS news program Face the Nation to discuss immigration and border security. Miller backed up Trump’s threats of a government shut-down over funding the border wall, saying “We’re going to do whatever is necessary to build the border wall to stop this ongoing crisis of illegal immigration.”
But Miller’s hateful policies quickly took a backseat to another pressing issue at the border of his scalp and his forehead, namely a caravan of hastily applied spray-on hair to his balding pate. Watch out Donald Trump, Stephen Miller is gunning for the Most Absurd Hair in the White House award.
Here’s the thing: making fun of a person based on their appearance is not a good look. It’s punching down, claiming the lowest hanging fruit to mock someone for something entirely out of their control. Frankly, it’s something Trump would do (and has done repeatedly). We should all strive to be better than that.
However, when the person in question is an odious little twerp who has engineered some of the most vile racist policies of the Trump administration, our limits are tested. And when said person decides to appear on national television with obviously spray-on hair, we’re left with no other choice but to ruthlessly mock his disastrous attempt at simulated hair growth. We never said we were saints, y’all.
Here are some of Twitter’s best responses to Miller’s spray-on hair:
I think that men should be allowed and encouraged to do all the same vain shit women do to their hair/skin etc, but Stephen Miller is a fascist and I don’t care about him.
— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) December 16, 2018
Stephen Miller has a spray-on toupee because a spray-on Hitler mustache would have been redundant. pic.twitter.com/cez3Ez1VH7
— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) December 16, 2018
Stephen Miller proves the cover-up is worse than the crime. pic.twitter.com/Y2emWtpXUN
— ElElegante101 (@skolanach) December 16, 2018
I rarely make fun of people’s appearances but when you are as heartless as Stephen Miller I feel no shame in pointing out that he literally painted his hair on before his interview this morning.
Miller’s hair is almost as dishonest as the Trump White House that he works for. pic.twitter.com/FFeHj54wPG
— Brian Krassenstein (@krassenstein) December 16, 2018
Fake hair on Stephen Miller? I did nazi that coming! https://t.co/PJyJMNu89v
— Naveed Jamali (@NaveedAJamali) December 16, 2018
Here is a close up of Stephen Miller's "hair"
He is a vile, disgusting human in every way.
Just more of the same … pic.twitter.com/Mgnn2qlZyA
— ☇RiotWomenn☇ (@riotwomennn) December 16, 2018
#facethenation Stephen Miller sporting the worst case of spray-on hair I have ever seen.
The glory and horror of HDTV. pic.twitter.com/KqhVfzRPWf
— Futuropolist (@futuropolist) December 16, 2018
PEOPLE. STOP RETWEETING THIS TRIVIA
Stephen Miller's fake-spray is just here as a DISTRACTION from the REAL STORY.
He isn't wearing PANTS. https://t.co/TV5DjyU3c6
— Julius Goat 🦆(Read Pinned Tweet!) (@JuliusGoat) December 16, 2018
Stephen Miller’s spray on hair looks ridiculous. pic.twitter.com/rxijje5BFH
— Alexander The Eh (@AlexanderThe_Eh) December 16, 2018
Stephen Miller can trowel on some hair but they don't make spray-on humanity.#GarbagePeople #FaceOfEvil pic.twitter.com/jcHUm1lzVp
— CrabDiving Podcast (@CrabDiving) December 16, 2018
Stephen Miller is 33. Apparently hatred and and fascism can really age a man.
Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!
—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
Have a tip we should know? [email protected]