Stephen Colbert Wants You to Stop Saying the New Lightsaber Crossguard Is Pointless, Here’s a Perfectly Good Explanation
Nation, we need to talk.
For 90 seconds of footage—or actually about 60 if you cut out the MPAA approval, blank screen, and closing logo—people sure have spent lot of time talking about the Force Awakens trailer and the lightsaber crossguard (AKA the menage à sabre). But Stephen Colbert finds your lack of suspension of disbelief disturbing, so here he is laying out his nerd cred for a lesson in lightsabers.
And yes, that perfectly sarcastic tweet in the video was by none other than Bill Corbett, voice of Crow T. Robot in the later seasons of Mystery Science Theater 3000. You’re welcome.
But let’s get one thing straight: Stephen Colbert’s analysis of why a lightsaber crossguard works is the best kind of nerdery. One of the best things about nerd/geek culture is really putting things through their paces and thinking about them “too hard,” but I’m not sure when that became “put in just enough thought to prove something wrong instead of taking it further and finding an even more technical reason it could still work.”
In addition to the concerns Colbert addresses, the master bladesmith that the Washington Post asked (seriously) about the subject was concerned about the mini lightsabers being more dangerous than they’re worth due to lightsabers’ well-documented propensity to lop off hands. Still, I’m willing to believe that avoiding cutting off their own limbs is something well within the Force-granted powers of the Jedi and/or Sith.
Is it still maybe a little ridiculous? Sure, but not more than anything else about Star Wars. So come on, everyone; if we’re going to revel in our geekery, let’s follow Colbert’s example and really do it right instead of knocking things down just to feel smart.
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