A woman looks at her laptop outside with women's tweets superimposed.

Alyssa Milano’s Sex Strike Idea Is Bad but These Guys’ Reactions to It Are Unintentionally Hilarious

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Over the weekend, Alyssa Milano drew some much-deserved criticism for sincerely proposing a “#SexStrike” as a response to the recent attacks on reproductive rights in multiple states across the country. The suggestion to go full Lysistrata is a terrible idea for a number of reasons, which our own Chelsea already broke down for us. Not only is the idea rooted in cis & heteronormative ideas of sex, but it reinforces the outdated notion that sex, at its core, is for men, and that it’s a commodity for women to give to or withhold from them as a prize or punishment.

The belief that sex is more important and more enjoyable for men is ingrained into a lot of people from a young age and it can lead to unhealthy sexual and emotional relationships. It’s also a self-fulfilling prophecy that can cause women not to think about their own pleasure or learn how to get the most out of sex.

Men, too, aren’t taught how to think about women’s pleasure as being equally important to theirs in heterosexual encounters. And right now, a lot of men are outing themselves on Twitter, making it clear that they’ve never evolved past that way of thinking and remain 100% bad at sex.

A tweet from Brad Anderson reading 'I get the point you're trying to make, but I have yet to meet a hetero woman who enthusiastically participates in sex.'

Poor Brad there had his account suspended, presumably for his own protection, to shield him from the fallout from such a massive self-own.

Obviously, every person has their own unique relationship with sex. Some people do not have an “enthusiastic” interest or any interest at all in sex; some partners just don’t spark together; but if your opinion is that women, in general and as a whole, do not enjoy sex–well, buddy, it’s pretty obvious that there is a problem here and women are not it.

Remember when the Washington Post let us all know that celibacy in men has risen at a much higher rate than it has for women? Now, why could that be? Why are women “tolerating” so much sex, as our friend Scott up there says? According to The Economist, it’s the fault of “female empowerment.”

I think a more likely answer is that a lot of women are tired of all the Brads and Scotts who are more interested in inserting themselves unnecessarily into conversations about reproductive rights than they are in exploring the interests and needs of their female sexual partners. I suppose we could call that a form of empowerment.

Rather than a blanket sex strike, let’s just all not have sex with people who want to strip us of our bodily autonomy and also not with people who come from the position of assuming you’re not going to have a good time.

(image: Sajjad Hussain M from Burst)

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Vivian Kane
Vivian Kane (she/her) is the Senior News Editor at The Mary Sue, where she's been writing about politics and entertainment (and all the ways in which the two overlap) since the dark days of late 2016. Born in San Francisco and radicalized in Los Angeles, she now lives in Kansas City, Missouri, where she gets to put her MFA to use covering the local theatre scene. She is the co-owner of The Pitch, Kansas City’s alt news and culture magazine, alongside her husband, Brock Wilbur, with whom she also shares many cats.