If you thought you heard The Imperial March wafting through the internet yesterday, it’s because Ron DeSantis, who may or may not have actively participated in torture acts at Guantanamo Bay, has finally announced what we’d all been dreading: He’s running for the GOP nomination for President in 2024. (Don’t worry, the Florida legislature revised the laws that would have made him resign his position as Florida Governor in order to run for President. Goody.)
So what’s a fascist to do when he wants to make a splash with his presidential campaign announcement, yet he’s deeply unlikeable? The answer is obvious, isn’t it? Seek out an even more unlikeable person in order to help you. I am, of course, talking about Elon Musk.
As you probably know by now, the plan was for DeSantis to announce his entry into the race via Twitter Spaces, the audio-only chat room feature on Twitter literally no one asked for but Elon Musk. However, if you’ve stuck around that cesspit of a site since Musk has taken over, you’d know that after he fired basically everyone on staff, Twitter just doesn’t work very well anymore. Pretty much anyone could have predicted how terribly this would go but remember, we’re talking about Ron DeSantis, who thought he could take on Disney and win, and Elon Musk, who at this point is having the most long and drawn out mid-life crisis on an international stage any of us have seen, maybe ever. Not only are we not dealing with the best and brightest here, these are men with massive egos and no comprehension of their actual abilities. So, naturally, the big announcement of DeSantis’ formal campaign launch, went entirely to shit. LOL.
First and foremost, it absolutely did not launch on time, with 20-plus minutes of glitches on Twitter’s end. All people heard was Elon making awkward comments about how Spaces wasn’t working. You can listen for yourself, and bask in the glory of the incompetence of it all:
Eventually, they had to give up on the initial Space and start over. This is for a launch of a presidential campaign. Bless.
Finally after about 25 minutes of “technical difficulties,” the campaign announcement was made, but at what cost? To everyone in the world except Elon Musk, this was a disaster. Musk, of course, thinks it was kind of a win?
This man is terminally online and his whole approach to life seems to be “Tweet through it.” Maybe he should reconsider that? Secondly, obviously, DeSantis in some sort of elementary school bully logic thought it would be a good move to announce his campaign on the longtime preferred platform of the obvious frontrunner to the GOP nomination: sexual abuser Donald Trump. Who, if you recall, was kicked off the platform in more genteel times, when the site was not run by a sad man baby who courts the far-right because they will give him the attention he so desperately craves. The whole thing is genuinely stupid and also scary when you realize that DeSantis is this petty and wants to have the nuclear launch codes. Awesome.
However, since the announcement was such a disaster, even Fox News called it an ” embarrassment.” I don’t think anyone but Elon is sitting here today thinking it was a success? The tweets that have come out of it though? Top-notch:
Remember, there are other companies Elon could be running (into the ground) right now, like Tesla!
Even the Biden campaign got in on the action tweeting this out during the technical difficulties of the Spaces launch:
It’s always rewarding to see smart people dunk on dumb, villainous people:
This is exactly the kind of flop announcement DeSantis deserves. He is a bad person with terrible fascist policies. He would make an absolutely terrible president, so with that in mind, I hope he hires Elon Musk as his campaign manager. They are a match made in incompetent while male privilege heaven. I say they need to do more events together. Have your entire transportation unit kitted out by Tesla and Space-X. Have Elon Musk help you with policy ideas, and tweet through the pain and shame at 2 am like he frequently does:
This is a match made in the cesspits of social media hell, which means it’s perfect for a GOP Presidential candidate. To Ron DeSantis and Elon Musk, I wish you a long and unhappy partnership. May the technical difficulties be ever in your favor.
(featured image: Scott Olson/Getty Images)
