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Please Don’t Make Mojo JoJo Sexy in the Live-Action Powerpuff Girls CW Reboot

What about HIM and Fuzzy Lumpkins?!

 

The Powerpuff Girls villains Mojo Jojo, HIM, Fuzzy Lumpkins, and Princess.

With so many headcanons and predictions going around when it comes to the live-action CW remake of The Powerpuff Girls, I can’t help but think about one thing: the villains and how The CW is going to make them sexy. I know, I know. You’re cringing while reading this but I can’t help myself. They did the same thing with Riverdale and look where we are now, thirsting over Archie Andrews and waiting for him to take off his shirt. Who are we? Now, imagine what a CW remake of The Powerpuff Girls could do to Mojo Jojo, the infamous villain.

It can go two ways.

On the one hand, they can make it so that these new Powerpuff Girls never encountered Mojo Jojo in their childhood. They fought other villains, just not him, because he hadn’t been created yet. Flash forward to disillusioned young women who are no longer crime fighters. Future and older Blossom, because you know she’s working in a STEM field, meets a young handsome man at her workplace. He’s smart, kind, and he and Blossom click. And oh no, he’s hot!

Little does Blossom know, that her handsome beau’s visage covers a thirst for power. Through a series of events he finds out about Blossom’s powers and past. He wants to be like her. To cement their love, and his thirst for power, he experiments on himself and things don’t go right. He transforms into a monster à la Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. But he’s not like all the time and he starts living a double life where he swoons over Blossom and their love and battles her as the mysterious Mojo Jojo when he transforms.

Eventually Blossom finds out and that’s where the real CW will they/won’t they drama happens where Blossom has to battle with her heart and the safety of the people of Townsville. But gasp, will she tell her sisters that she’s in a relationship with the monster they’re fighting? Or will she fight for Mojo Jojo’s love and to bring him back to his true self? Either way, it’s gonna be a dumpster fire that will make Mojo Jojo hot and have fangirls/boys swooning over him and stanning the hell out of him. That’s the scenario we get if they go this way. I can see the future.

Keeping all of that in mind, it can also go …. a different way.

Before Mojo Jojo became a monkey, because The CW is going to make him human, he was an attractive older dude that works with Professor Utonium in the lab. They’re like brothers. But things fall apart when Utonium breaks science rules and uses Chemical X to create The Powerpuff Girls. Enraged and betrayed, this hot scientist tries to recreate Chemical X to disastrous consequences. Long story short, The Powerpuff Girls battle Mojo Jojo and kill him, never knowing who he was to their father.

Flash forward to the disillusioned 20-somethings that The CW will make our heroes out to be. The Powerpuff Girls no longer fight crime. Blossom is again in the STEM field, following in her father’s footsteps. She meets a sexy guy at work, starts dating him, and falls for him. Little does she know that he … IS MOJO JOJO’S SON! He’s back for revenge and The Powerpuff Girls are his main target. But oh no, he’s tortured, hot, and doesn’t know how he can do this when he’s falling deeper in love with Blossom.

Does this sound ridiculous? Yes. Will The CW probably do it? Absolutely. And if they do this with Mojo Jojo, what’s next? What’s holding them back from doing this to all The Powerpuff Girls villains? Are they going to make me swoon over HIM in their leather clad glory who challenges Buttercup at every turn, inadvertently making me ship them? Are they going to make me appreciate and then check out a scruffy buff dude with pink hair aka Fuzzy Lumpkins? Are they going to make the sexual tension between Bubbles and Princess something that will make the fanfiction world go wild?

The answer is yes. The CW is totally going to do that. And I hate it.

(image: Cartoon Network/Warner Bros. Television Distribution)

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Lyra (She/Her) is a queer Latinx writer who stans badass women in movies, TV shows, and books. She loves crafting, tostones, and speculating all over queer media. And when not writing she's scrolling through TikTok or rebuilding her book collection.