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If You Love Pizza Hut so Much Why Don’t You Marry It? Or at Least Check Out Its OKCupid Profile

I'm in Veggie Likers with you, Pizza Hut, but I don't know if I'm in Veggie Lovers with you.

Pizza Hut OK Cupid

Lonely this Valentine’s Day? Don’t worry, Pizza Hut is there for you–at least if you have an OKCupid profile. It does too. Yes. Now you can date a pizza franchise, just like Saint Valentine intended. (That’s what Valentine’s Day is about, right?) You could also WIN FREE PIZZA FOR LIFE!

The important question here is why does Pizza Hut have an OKCupid profile? Turns out it’s a weird marketing ploy to announce a contest that could land you free pizza for life. Here are the details from the page:

The Greatest Proposal Ever.

Here’s how we see this going down:

  1. First, you’ll send @pizzahut an Instagram video or tweet@pizzahut a Vine tagged #CommitToGreatness by Feb 21st. Tell us your most creative proposal idea. Ninjas? Unicorns? Professional babies? Don’t let reality hold you back. Let your Greatness flag fly. It’ll feel good.
  2. We’ll contact the three (3) most creative suitors via Twitter or Instagram, and take you on a trip to get to know you better.
  3. If we decide you’re The One, we’ll surprise you with the Greatest Proposal Ever. Obviously, that means free pizza for life.

Are you ready to #CommitToGreatness?

So there you go. Free pizza for life is on the line here, and even if that pizza is mediocre at best that’s still an interesting proposition.

Of course, the idea that any one of us could be Pizza Hut’s OTP is absurd, since Pizza the Hut has already found true love with Vinnie.

Come on. Look at those two love birds!

Come on. Look at those two love birds!

(via Pizza Hut on OKCupid, gross GIF via Spaceballs)

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Glen is a comedian, writer, husband, and father. He won his third-grade science fair and is a former preschool science teacher, which is a real job.