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Phoneballs!: They’re Balls for Your Phone!! (Is There Any Reason to Write an Actual Headline For This?)

Yesterday during the WWDC, we all sat, glued to the edge of our seats, hoping Steve Jobs would finally announce the feature we’d all been waiting for for the fourth gen iPhones. No, I’m not talking about battery life (boring!). No, I don’t mean video chat (by the by, who else thinks 95% of FaceTime conversations are gonna sound like “Yo, man, I’m really busy. Can you just call me back normal?”). And, no, I’m definitely not referring to a screen with resolution more precise than a human eye can fully handle (Great. Now all my eagle and falcon friends are gonna constantly be asking to borrow my phone). The feature I’m talking about is the one that’s been missing from iPhones since the day they were first announced. That’s right, I’m talking about testicles. The iPhone has been missing testicles.
Until now!

Update: Achewood did it first.

Presenting Phoneballs, the new iPhone cover that goes where no phone accessory has gone before by having little rubber balls hanging from the bottom of your phone! Just think of the many uses! You can make your buddies laugh and you can…make some other buddies laugh. Um…lets see what the makers have to say.


“Need to protect your iPhone from everyday cuts and scrapes? Have a soft spot in your heart for testicles? Just feel like your iPhone needs some balls?

Presenting phoneballs…. maybe not a revolution in protective silicone cases, but we think a pretty fun way to show your support for those little fellas that give us so much.

Whether male or female, chances are you have been touched by a pair of balls in your life…. don’t you want to touch em back?

Besides being a real gas at social gatherings, these are great silicone cases. They really fit snuggly, they ‘nestle to the goods’…”

Well, I’m sold. And if that wasn’t enough, the Phoneballs come in two great colors. There’s Peach Fuzz which is perfect for all of your caucasian friends. And then there’s Blue Balls which is perfect for all of your friends who happen to be Gonzo the Muppet. All inclusive!

I know what you’re thinking. You’re telling yourself, “That may be the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen” and you’d probably be right. However, the makers of Phoneballs assure on their website, that 10% of all proceeds go to testicular cancer research. So, if you want to help a good cause and don’t plan on ever using your phone around your mother, boss, girlfriend, boyfriend, or anyone whose respect you want to command ever again, you should definitely check out some Phoneballs!

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