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Neil Patrick Harris’ Memoir Is Going to Be a Choose Your Own Adventure Book

Oh no! The snake bit your dong! Return to the set of your Rolling Stone Magazine cover by turning to page 124.

neil

Everyone and their grandma has a memoir out right now. In fact, Everyone and Their Grandma Has a Memoir is the working title of my memoir. It’s less of a chronological autobiography and more of a series of “vignettes.” Speaking of non-chronological autobiographies, that’s what NPH’s will be like if you read it front to back, because it’s going to be a Choose Your Own Adventure book.

Since we literally can’t come up with better material than what’s currently on the official website for Neil’s book (how do you top a “putting the u in aUtobiography” joke?), here is the book blurb in its entirety:

SICK of deeply personal accounts written in the first person? Seeking an exciting, interactive read that puts the “u” back in “aUtobiography”? Then look no further than Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography! In this revolutionary, Joycean experiment in light celebrity narrative, actor/personality/carbon-based life-form Neil Patrick Harris lets you, the reader, live his life. You will be born in New Mexico. You will get your big break at an acting camp. You will get into a bizarre confrontation outside a nightclub with actor Scott Caan. Even better, at each critical juncture of your life you will choose how to proceed. You will decide whether to try out for Doogie Howser, M.D. You will decide whether to spend years struggling with your sexuality. You will decide what kind of caviar you want to eat on board Elton John’s yacht.

CHOOSE correctly and you’ll find fame, fortune, and true love. Choose incorrectly and you’ll find misery, heartbreak, and a guest stint on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. All this, plus magic tricks, cocktail recipes, embarrassing pictures from your time as a child actor, and even a closing song. Yes, if you buy one book this year, congratulations on being above the American average, but make that book Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography

The book goes on sale October 14 and is currently available for preorder. With any luck, Neil’s had more than a couple of run-ins with aliens, tigers, and lots of quicksand. You can’t have a good Choose Your Own Adventure book without quicksand.

(via Lara’s Book Club, image via Choose your Own Autobiography)

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