This article is over 14 years old and may contain outdated information

Recommended Videos

Look at this horse. It is worth a million dollars. Does that amaze you? Perchance it should, citizen of the United States and America, but it is a mystery unraveled on I don’t want to ruin all the details for you, but let me just convince you why you need to read the explanation for yourself.

If you don’t read it, you will not know in which year the economy will crash, as predicted in the “Egyptian calendar year of the Mayans.”

If you don’t read it, you may become involved in criminal baby-making or parking activities without even knowing it.

If you don’t read it, you might think that Marcy isn’t overreacting by taking out a restraining order. BUT SHE IS!

If you don’t read it, you will vote incorrectly in the 2010 presidential election.

Seriously though, this is one crazy but incredibly hilarious site. According to a quick WHOIS lookup, it’s registered to somethingawful, and if I had to guess what it’s satirizing (besides every conspiracy theory ever), I would have to say timecube. Be warned, timecube is somewhat offensive and scarily not a joke.

(Via Reddit)

The Mary Sue is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more about our Affiliate Policy
Image of Jamie Block