Rocket and Ben Affleck

Meet the Raccoon Replacing Ben Affleck as Dunkin’ Mascot

Of all the animals in North America, the most prized of them is the raccoon. Sorry to the bald eagle, you’ve had your time. The thing is: Raccoons are so cute. They are furry, they love to eat, and they have big eyes and I would die for them. There’s a reason that one of my favorite Marvel characters is Rocket Raccoon. I’d give raccoons all the marshmallows they could ever want if given the opportunity. All this to say that Dunkin’ Donuts has a new employee.

Recommended Videos

Remember when Ben Affleck took a job at his native Boston’s beloved Dunkin’? It was for a Super Bowl commercial, and a nod to the fact that you can always count on Affleck to have a Dunkin’ cup in his hand. And so, for a while, he was the Dunkin’ employee fans were rooting for.

But now this raccoon is coming for his job. As I was scrolling TikTok one night, I just happened to see a video someone filmed from their car. They just sat there, looking at a raccoon in the drive-thru. And this raccoon clearly knew that if he was polite and he waited patiently, he’d be rewarded. I love that for him, that he just knows he can get a donut.

The employee behind the drive-thru window waited until the raccoon was standing up in the drive-thru lane and handed him a donut, which he took and ran away back into the wilderness.

All of this is just pointing out the obvious: That raccoon deserves a job at Dunkin’. For good reason, too! You wouldn’t really have to pay him money, just donuts. And think of the business you’d get from people rushing to see the Dunkin’ Raccoon hand them their coffee.

Dunkin’ is for the raccoons

Now, if you’re not a fan of TikTok or raccoons, you might not know that they love coming back to places where food is put out for them. So in theory, we can probably surmise that this Dunkin’ has given this donut fiend some food previously. If not, they just started a dangerous new trend—all for the betterment of the company. Look, that raccoon would make a good employee.

Granted, you might have to fight him a little over the donuts for customers, but if you handed him bags to hand to other people? It’d be cute! I would go out of my way to go to the Dunkin’ where a raccoon was going to hand me my food, and I don’t even like Dunkin’ as a coffee place. (Their donuts are innocent though, I love those.)

So, sorry to Ben Affleck, but you’ve been replaced again. First Charlie Cox became the definitive Matt Murdock/Daredevil, and now a raccoon is staking his claim as the number one Dunkin’ fan. And honestly, Ben, I don’t think you stand a chance against him. If it came down to a raccoon and you, the raccoon is always going to win. Say hello to Dunkin’s newest employee. I’ve dubbed him Donutcoon.

(featured image: Bellocqimages / Bauer-Griffin / GC Images / Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)


The Mary Sue is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more
related content
Read Article Today Is the Anniversary of the Most Iconic Moment in Classic Rock History
Bill Hader as Lindsey Buckingham on SNL looking confused
Read Article This New Pedro Pascal Ad Turned Me Into a Beer Guy
Pedro Pascal in an ad for Corona
Read Article Let Us Bring You Up to Speed on Chappell Roan
Chappell Roan poses in a beauty pageant outfit on the cover of her album The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess.
Read Article Hello Kitty x ‘Yu-Gi-Oh’ Is Coming … as a McDonald’s Happy Meal
Sanrio Hello Kitty and friends in Yu-Gi-Oh monster outfits
Read Article 13 Best ‘LEGO Star Wars’ Ships of All Time
Krennic's Imperial Shuttle LEGO Star Wars set
Related Content
Read Article Today Is the Anniversary of the Most Iconic Moment in Classic Rock History
Bill Hader as Lindsey Buckingham on SNL looking confused
Read Article This New Pedro Pascal Ad Turned Me Into a Beer Guy
Pedro Pascal in an ad for Corona
Read Article Let Us Bring You Up to Speed on Chappell Roan
Chappell Roan poses in a beauty pageant outfit on the cover of her album The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess.
Read Article Hello Kitty x ‘Yu-Gi-Oh’ Is Coming … as a McDonald’s Happy Meal
Sanrio Hello Kitty and friends in Yu-Gi-Oh monster outfits
Read Article 13 Best ‘LEGO Star Wars’ Ships of All Time
Krennic's Imperial Shuttle LEGO Star Wars set
Author
Rachel Leishman
Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. She's been a writer professionally since 2016 but was always obsessed with movies and television and writing about them growing up. A lover of Spider-Man and Wanda Maximoff's biggest defender, she has interests in all things nerdy and a cat named Benjamin Wyatt the cat. If you want to talk classic rock music or all things Harrison Ford, she's your girl but her interests span far and wide. Yes, she knows she looks like Florence Pugh. She has multiple podcasts, normally has opinions on any bit of pop culture, and can tell you can actors entire filmography off the top of her head. Her work at the Mary Sue often includes Star Wars, Marvel, DC, movie reviews, and interviews.