‘His ego was bruised’: Utah man asks woman out on a date. Then he sees where she actually lives—and tries to switch-up

A first date can make or break the chance of a romantic relationship taking off. Any wrong move extinguishes the potential sparks fast.

And dating in 2026, there’s plenty that can hit the fan. For this woman, a first date with a man she met on Instagram didn’t even make it out of the messages after he wrote something that made her call it off.

Date At First Message

“OK, guys. I need help deciphering if I’m off-base here or if this man’s ego is bruised,” Utah TikTok creator Gracie Rasmussen (@graciejade) starts the video. “It proves another point that it’s not the women out here, it’s the men.”

Then, she creates the scene for how it all first began on Instagram.

“First off, I get a DM from this guy,” she says. “So, he gets my number and we start texting.”

From there, everything seemed to go smoothly, setting a date for Saturday at 7 pm. A message on the day of the first date ignited a stream of avalanches.

“Today, he goes, ‘What’s your address?’ At 4:51, he sends that,” she says, unveiling the green screen messages between her and the man. “I give him my address. He said, ‘What are the odds you’d meet me downtown? Could grab food, maybe hit the arcade, or City Creek, or something?'”

Immediately, the content creator saw red flags. “What is literally the point of asking me out on a date if you just can’t plan anything or are putting zero percent energy in?”

The Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back

Confused, Rasmussen asked the man’s age, and his answer bewildered her more. “You’re 26 years old and you don’t know how to plan a date?” she questions, perplexed.

Instantly, all her interest evaporated. “If you’re gonna put in zero effort in, why am I going to spend my time and my energy [trying] to get to know you?” she says.

His response of not wanting to pick her up exacerbated these feelings.

“I said I was interested on Instagram before I knew all of this,” she adds. “And this is also he ‘planned the date’ on Instagram.” When the content creator revealed the conversation, it was the man who kept inquiring what Rasmussen wanted to do in Salt Lake City. Not one message from the man contained any suggestions.

“It’s my pet peeve when men are like, ‘What do you wanna do?’ Don’t ask me that. Just plan something, K?” she says. But the final nail in the coffin was his last reply.

“‘I don’t see how that’s the bare minimum lol. I’m coming from the opoosite way but I can see I dodged a bullet and coming from you, that’s a compliment. God bless,’” she reads out loud. “You asked me out on a date just solely off of my Instagram. So, obviously there was something there that you liked.”

Before wrapping up, Rasmussen asked, “What do you guys think?” 

Viewers Answers Varied

Rasmussen’s clip garnered over 12,000 views since Feb 28. Many weighed in with their thoughts and opinions. The majority sided with her.

“I agree with you 100%!!!” one viewer commented.

“If he doesn’t want to pick you up then he’s a jerk with too many options so he doesn’t care,” another stated.

“His ego was bruised,” a third said.

However, some created excuses on the man’s behalf.

“I think today’s world, [it’s] fair to meet on the first date. I think you’re expecting [too much]. Why should we put a ton of effort [into] someone you’ve never met?” one commenter remarked.

“26, not to stereotype, but he is young and immature!!!” a second wrote.

Who Should Plan The First Date?

There’s no doubt that dating has always been difficult. Modern times may be more challenging since people are becoming more socially disconnected. Traditionally, the man was expected to map these outings. Casual dates, such as dinner, movies, or coffee, can be acceptable. Most women don’t want to waste their time on a casual fling, per YourTango. Instead, it’s the woman who perceives this gesture as a reflection of the man’s interest. When a man formulates a thoughtful date, it doesn’t go unnoticed.

Reaching the day of the first date can work out as The Mary Sue covered, but communicating beforehand is preferable. Since we live in a flexible era, the one who initiates the date is the one who should map it out, regardless of gender.

@graciejade04 #greenscreen #utahdating #fypシ ♬ original sound – graciejade

The Maty Sue reached out to Rasmussen via email and TikTok comment.

Update Apr. 3, 2026:

During an interview with The Mary Sue, Rasmussen has been on a dating hiatus since a breakup a few months ago. 

“I had recently come out of a relationship in September that led me to reflect on my priorities. I felt it was important to take some time to focus on personal growth and ensure I was in a place where I felt confident and grounded before inviting someone new into my life,” she shared via email. “In terms of timing, I would say I took approximately five to six months before I began talking to or going on first dates again.”

Since she approaches dating with an open mind and had mutuals on social media, she decided to give this man a chance. 

“When it came to agreeing to a date with this individual, I generally try to approach dating with an open mind. I believe it’s important to give people a fair chance, you never know where a connection might lead. We also had some mutual connections on Instagram, which made the idea of meeting up feel comfortable and low-pressure,” she said. 

Once the day of the date arrived, the content creator was discouraged due to being the one to make suggestions for him. However, the last-minute message hit her. 

“On the day of the date, however, I did feel somewhat disappointed. Earlier in our conversations, I had tried to encourage a bit more structure around planning by asking about the plan and offering a few suggestions. While he ultimately set a time and date, the last-minute nature of his message that day felt a bit low-effort to me,” Rasmussen said. “I would have been open to something more flexible if that had been the expectation from the beginning, but I value intentionality, especially given how limited time and energy can be.”

To top it all off, it happened yet again shortly after this incident and this behavior overall throughout her entire life. 

“This isn’t an isolated experience. In fact, something similar happened again about a week later, and I’ve encountered this dynamic multiple times. At this stage in my life, I have a clear sense of what I’m looking for, and I place a high value on how I spend my time. I would rather invest in my personal goals, friendships, and family than pursue connections that don’t feel aligned and I think it’s okay for people to have different standards and expectations,” she revealed. 

Nevertheless, she hasn’t completely ditched the dating scene. 

“I am still open to dating and continue to meet people, but I approach it with a stronger sense of clarity around what feels right for me,” she said. 

Finally, the creator wanted to address a few things. 

“First, while I would describe myself as someone who maintains high standards, I don’t expect others to support or sustain my lifestyle. I’m fully capable of doing that independently. Rather, I see a partner as someone who complements and adds value to my life,” she stated.

“Second, I think it’s important to recognize that compatibility varies, and it’s natural that not every connection will be the right fit. My intention was simply to share a personal frustration with a recent experience,” Rasmussen continued. “Lastly, I did notice some commentary that made assumptions about my intelligence based on my appearance or voice. That was disheartening, and I think it highlights a broader issue – there’s still work to be done as a society in moving away from making judgments about people based on surface-level traits.”

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