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Now We’re Supposed to Pity the MAGA Trolls? Nope.

Ana de Armas in Knives Out

The above picture of Ana de Armas in the Rian Johnson classic Knives Out (2019) is me looking down at the MAGA trolls who are now asking for my compassion in the wake of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris defeating Donald Trump. There will be none. In the words of the Phantom from Phantom of the Opera, “The world* showed no compassion for me.”

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(*The world, in this instance, refers to MAGAs who mocked my body and me relentlessly for years all so they could openly show their racism/homophobia/sexism/xenophobia/all the phobias and isms they posses.)

There has been an influx of “Let’s be nice to the MAGA trolls and rise above the hatred they spewed” going around online, and you know what I say to that? Fuck that. For the last four years, we have had to endure Donald Trump superfans spewing hatred and racism and sexism and homophobia and every kind of ism/phobia under the sun and enabling Trump to build that into government policy, and every time we’ve tried to fight back, they would just keep coming or we “took the higher ground” and let them continue to troll all the live-long day.

Now, they want our compassion because they LOST? They have the nerve to equate their defeat with the actual horrors they gleefully unleashed on others? No, I’m going to be a petty bitch. I’m going to mock your stupid red hats and laugh in your face when you bring up Trump because it shows your own horrible bias and beliefs while showing that you willingly joined the cult of a mad man and whined because the rest of us rejected him.

I won’t take the high road. In fact, I’m going to go so low as to make fun of you for years to come. Because the emotional turmoil y’all put people through, the fear that you created? It all helped us come together and realize we had to get Trump out of the White House and rebuild this broken system. So, I guess thanks for that?

But back to me being petty.

All those “liberal tears” y’all thought you were collecting? Well, buckle up. They’re nothing compared to the MAGA tears I’m gonna gobble up. “Safe spaces” and “snowflakes” have been ruined for me because of you and your dumbass jokes or attempts at mocking people. So right now, when you’re all saying, “Oh why isn’t the left being nice to us?” just remember that you relentlessly attacked all of us for 4 years and now want our pity.

And here’s a special shoutout to Megyn Kelly, who is online f**king acting like a martyr because she “supported the President”: GIRL. YOU BENEFITTED FROM A MAN WHO EMBOLDENED WHITE SUPREMACISTS. LIKE YEAH, I WILL CALL YOU A RACIST. CAUSE THAT’S WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE.


So don’t come knocking and looking for pity from me. Don’t act like I’m an asshole because I refuse to show you compassion. That’s not how this works. I don’t have to be “nice” to you just because I care about other humans (unlike your racist ass self). So, to the MAGA trolls looking for a hug or someone to tell them it’s okay … gtfo.

Old, Biden-looking Captain America says, "No, I don't think I will."

(image: Lionsgate)

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Rachel Leishman
Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. She's been a writer professionally since 2016 but was always obsessed with movies and television and writing about them growing up. A lover of Spider-Man and Wanda Maximoff's biggest defender, she has interests in all things nerdy and a cat named Benjamin Wyatt the cat. If you want to talk classic rock music or all things Harrison Ford, she's your girl but her interests span far and wide. Yes, she knows she looks like Florence Pugh.

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