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You Can Now Get a Life-Size Battery-Powered Mario Kart for Your Kids or Just Your Own Use

Three red shells not included, but suggested.

 

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Hey, remember when you were a kid and all you wanted to do all day was play Mario Kart? Or right now, as a grown-up, for those of us who are still immature man-children awesome? Well, now you can live the dream in real life, because JAKKS Pacific and Nintendo are putting out a ride-on Mario Kart toy.

Here’s the actual product listing that manages to take itself remarkably seriously:

Let your little one race to the finish line in the Super Mario Kart Ride-On Vehicle. This ride-on features forward and reverse driving and on- and off-road tires, so he or she can take on tough terrain! The brake pedal system and seat belt offer safety, while the fun sounds come straight from the game.

Brakes, as we know, are a very necessary safety feature, as they’re the only way to stabilize after hitting a banana peel.

In what I can only describe as an egregious oversight, the kart is clearly intended only for children, so use your best judgment on whether or not you should actually buy one. Maybe you can buy it for your kids (if you have some of those), and it’ll keep them distracted while you bogart their copy of Mario Kart 8 when it comes out in May. Or, maybe just buy more copies of Mario Kart, because the kart costs $199.99.

This kart, on the other hand, is already up for preorder on Toys R Us, and it ships on March 7. You should probably order fast if you want one, because there’s probably a pretty big kids’ market for them in addition to a bunch of full grown adults buying them just as conversation pieces that they’ll inevitably try to ride and break.

Then, you won’t be reduced to riding around like this:

(Toys R Us via Laughing Squid, image via Toys R Us)

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Dan is a video game modding hobbyist and secret ninja who lives in North Carolina with his wife, Lisa Brown, and his dog, Liz Lemon, both of whom are the best.