The Left Behind Trailer Is Nicolas Cage-Starring Nonsense
This is probably exactly what Jesus wanted, right?
So remember that movie about the rapture starring Kirk Cameron that went straight to DVD back in 2001? Of course you don’t. No one watched it, because it was terrible. But people love explosions and being mad at God, so Left Behind is now getting a “Hollywood” remake with Nicolas Cage and Chad Michael Murray. Whoopie.
Now, I feel that it’s important that I share some of my own personal history with the Left Behind series. I remember picking up the first book as a precocious, Dogma-obsessed high schooler (the movie, not the ideological structure) and thinking the initial concept sounded rad as heck. But then I actually read it, and after the action-packed plane opening, I found it to be a massive disappointment.
Seriously, it’s like the book version of Flash Forward, except with scripture quotes. And then, I was told that there were sixteen books in the series as well as two sequels, three prequels, and a YA tie-in series, and I gave up on principle.
This upcoming movie, apparently, won’t be delving that deep into the Left Behind lore (thank literal God). It’ll instead focus just on that badass plane scene, according to writer and producer Paul Lalonde. “The first movie was based on the entire first book in the series, so a book this fat turned into a screen play with 57 plot points and no real time to get to know the characters,” he told The Blaze, “and the quintessential event that triggers all of Bible prophecy is the rapture—and that got like three minutes of screen time in the first movie.”
So less bible, more kabooms. Sounds good. Of course, the film doesn’t open until October, so it’ll have to compete with the similarly-themed HBO series, The Leftovers, which is also based on a book by the guy who wrote Election and which has Damon Lindelof at the helm. Hmmmm…. yeah. I might go with that one instead. Sorry, Nic. We’ll always have Adaptation.
- Meanwhile, God is writing new bible books about Justin Bieber
- Praying for your romantic partner increases your level of commitment
- Hopefully Cage gets to laugh maniacally at some point
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