Screencap from the Resident Evil Village story trailer

Vampiric Queen Lady Dimitrescu’s Height Confirmed Thanks To Thirsty Resident Evil Fans

It won't take much for her to step on you

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Sometimes, fandom reacts in a way that catches content creators off guard. Such was the case with Resident Evil Village’s Lady Dimitrescu, you know, the taller than tall vampiric lady that everyone collective wants to have step on them? Well, it’s been confirmed that it wouldn’t take much for her to press her heels into the average person.

As if the trailers weren’t enough to illustrate her goddess, ahem, I mean monstrous stature (oh nooooo I’m so scared, don’t corner me against a wall and have your way with meeeee), Resident Evil Village’s art director, Tomonori Takano, has a message for us all.

She tall. Like, real tall.

9.

Feet.

6.

Inches.

via GIPHY

Technically that’s with heels and hat, but basically, she’s taller than the man who currently holds the record for being the tallest person in the world (Robert Wadlow, who was 8 ft. 11.1 in.) because I’m gonna assume Lady Dimitrescu’s accessories don’t add so much height that she’d be shorter than him without them. This article here also points out that she’s taller than ostriches (who can get up to 9 feet) and even some elephants.

Oh. And um. The Home Depot skeleton. That too.

So um, congratulations to everyone who’s into height difference ships!

via GIPHY

Your (our) time is now!

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

But before anyone makes the commitment to burst into song about wanting to see a giant woman, there are some things you should keep in mind based purely on my appreciation of height differences and my love for the Resident Evil franchise.

  1. Realize you will need a step ladder. Or an actual ladder. Or just accept that she’s gonna have to lift you up like a child begging a tall person to go “up, up!”
  2. Do NOT ask her to bend down for you. She already has to bend down to get through average-sized doors, that’s already enough of a hassle. Hell, even if she did bend down, she’d still be taller. Randomly, a good Valentine’s Day gift idea would be to have a contractor make bigger, wider doors for her. It’s the thought that counts, friends.
  3. Find a good seamstress. Regular clothes from your local department store or that online shop that keeps emailing about 30% off or whatever will NOT fit her stature. There’s no word on what her shoe-size is so maybe you’ll be able to find heels for her, but I’m betting those will also have to be specially made. Pretty sure you’re fine with the other accessories like that hat and necklace. The gloves look good to go, too… except for when she uses her claws, so, just have a backup pair ready.
  4. Speaking of claws, this is a classy lady, so keep her nails looking fresh, all right? Also, be willing to help with makeup in case if she’s having an I wanna stab everything day where she isn’t retracting her claws.
  5. This is important, but don’t just let her kill you. I know we’re all like murder me, queen, but put up some semblance of a fight. Lady Dimitrescu looks like a woman who likes a good chase. HOWEVER! Do NOT make her chase too much, you don’t want her to get so frustrated that she slams the phone down in anger. Basically, you don’t wanna make her reach the inevitable Resident Evil monster transformation that usually makes folks turn into unrecognizable blobs that cover the entire room.
  6. You MUST do well with children. Lady Dimitrescu’s got daughters who seem to be deeply involved in her life, so if you’re someone who doesn’t like kids you’re either out of luck or you’ll have to adjust.
  7. There’s also Mother Miranda as well, who we heard Lady Dimitrescu talking to in the trailer. This definitely feels like the kind of relationship where Mother’s word is law, so be sure to charm that mama or you’ll never stand a chance.
  8. Don’t snoop around the castle too much, don’t go looking for statue pieces you put together to open a door. That door is locked for a reason, especially if it requires a scavenger hunt of random gemstones put together in the right order to get it to open.
  9. If you have any loved ones abandon them now. They will most likely be sacrificed to Mother Miranda or used to get you to do Lady Dimitrescu’s bidding. Like, I know you think you’d be willing to do anything for her, but there will be a time she’ll cross a line and use your (insert the person you care about the most) against you. Of course, if that person is fully supportive of your newfound love with a murder vixen like Lady Dimitrescu, then there may not be a problem.

I hope this helps! Good luck!

(Image: Capcom)


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Author
Briana Lawrence
Briana (she/her - bisexual) is trying her best to cosplay as a responsible adult. Her writing tends to focus on the importance of representation, whether it’s through her multiple book series or the pieces she writes. After de-transforming from her magical girl state, she indulges in an ever-growing pile of manga, marathons too much anime, and dedicates an embarrassing amount of time to her Animal Crossing pumpkin patch (it's Halloween forever, deal with it Nook)