New Jupiter Ascending Trailer Really Needs More Jupiter
Stop falling off of buildings and do something with your life, girl.
Normally, I am a huge sucker for the “ordinary girl discovering she is a magical space princess” trope—like, a huge one. But I’m still so bored by the recent Jupiter Ascending trailers, guys. They’re breathtakingly gorgeous and all, but how come Mila Kunis is only in them for, like, forty seconds of damsel-in-distress scenes?
Listen, I get that the whole point of the movie is that she has to ascend, so she’s not going to be roundhouse kicking space-dragons right out of the gate, but this movie better not actually be focused on Channing Tatum and his dumb quest to save her. That’s like if you narrated all of Daenerys Targaryen’s scenes in A Song of Ice and Fire from Jorah Mormont’s point of view, or if Sailor Moon were actually all about Tuxedo Mask instead.
I want to see stories about queens coming into their power and learning how to defeat their own enemies instead of the usual “I have to protect the princess OH NO SHE’S HOT” trope that gets so overused in science fiction and fantasy stories, y’know?
Either way, it’s still nice to see filmmakers taking a chance on a new idea rather than just adapting a book for maximum profitability, so I’m willing to remain cautiously optimistic of the Wachowski siblings. Don’t let me down, team. I still haven’t let you off the hook for Matrix: Revolutions, and you’ve already shot yourself in the foot by picking a title that makes me think of this every time I hear it, so you’re already on thin ice.