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Jeff Bezos Says Amazon Workers Paid for His Trip to Space and I Don’t Understand Why People Are Laughing

Jeff Bezos laughs while wearing a cowboy hat following his trip to space.

After shooting himself into space on his blue penis rocket, Amazon founder/Lex Luthor knockoff Jeff Bezos gave a press conference to discuss the flight.

During the conference, Bezos made sure “to thank every Amazon employee and every Amazon customer cause you guys paid for all of this.”

The comment appears to be a joke—or at least Bezos and others in attendance laughed. But he immediately repeated himself in a sincere tone: “So seriously, for every Amazon customer out there and every Amazon employee, thank you from the bottom of my heart, very much,” he said.

Jeff Bezos is absolutely right. Amazon customers and employees did pay for his billionaire vanity project. He was able to take his jaunt to space because of the massive wealth he’s acquired by denying employees decent wages, refusing to let them unionize, by paying basically nothing in taxes, and by implementing cruel and dangerous working conditions.

Employees have been reportedly been harassed and intimidated for trying to unionize. Warehouse workers and delivery drivers have reported being forced to fulfill quotas so strict that they’ve been forced to forego necessary bathroom breaks and have been driven to injury. The company was accused of letting COVID-19 spread through warehouses unaddressed and then fired whistleblowers and protest organizers—all of whom were women and/or people of color.

That’s how Bezos was able to send himself to space, by stepping on the backs of his employees, and I’m not sure what exactly is funny about it—though I’m also not sure why such thanks would be offered in sincerity, either. It’s terrible either way, exactly because it’s true.

(image: Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

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Vivian Kane (she/her) is the Senior News Editor at The Mary Sue, where she's been writing about politics and entertainment (and all the ways in which the two overlap) since the dark days of late 2016. Born in San Francisco and radicalized in Los Angeles, she now lives in Kansas City, Missouri, where she gets to put her MFA to use covering the local theatre scene. She is the co-owner of The Pitch, Kansas City’s alt news and culture magazine, alongside her husband, Brock Wilbur, with whom she also shares many cats.