When I hear that someone is planning a Game of Thrones-themed wedding, I immediately have questions. First is “why?”, the second is “how come?”, and the third is reminding everyone involved that, thematically speaking, weddings in Westeros are violent disasters. It’s the same way I feel when I hear that someone is planning a party themed around ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’. Are y’all okay? Blink twice if you need help.
Yet despite the violent outcomes of both the Red and Purple Wedding, GOT fans are still all-in on bringing their theme weddings to life. But some folks are taking it too far. In a new post from the ‘Am I the Asshole?’ subreddit aka AITA, a guest wants to know if they’re the asshole for deciding not to go to a GOT-themed wedding. Apparently, said guest was all in, until discovering just how deep into GOT the wedding goes.
They write, “I am perfectly fine with the idea of a themed wedding. I am even ok with the game of thrones dress/costume for the wedding. The only thing I can’t seem to get behind is the fact that the majority of the wedding will be conducted in High Valyrian (for those who don’t know, it’s a made up language from game of thrones).”
They add that the event is already a destination wedding, so it’s not a cheap endeavor. First things first, this person is clearly NOT the asshole. Wedding invites aren’t mandatory, and couples hosting a destination wedding should understand that not everyone can afford an expensive trip. And secondly, the whole damn wedding is going to be in High Valyrian?!? Who is this possibly for, other than the bride and groom. The bride’s response was even more unhinged, with the guest writing “she got really mad at me because I had originally had said I could go before I knew it was in High Valyrian. She’s also been sending my links to learn High Valyrian on Duolingo and I feel like even if I did show up, she’d be mad at me for not learning it.”
So this bridezilla not only wants you to shell out money on travel and costumes, but she wants you to learn a totally useless language? Is she Joffrey Baratheon, because this is next level bonkers. And if that weren’t enough, the guest adds that the reception speeches and toasts all have to be in High Valyrian too. This is asking too damn much of your guests. Weddings are already a financial burden on the wedding party, from the travel to the gifts to whatever hideous smock the bride makes you buy at David’s Bridal. But now you have to translate your heartfelt words into a nonsense language nobody speaks? Somebody needs to call “Dracarys” on this wedding STAT. Also, if they start playing “Rains of Castamere”, run!
Now of course, as with any Reddit post, we have no way of knowing if this story is true or not. But it feels too specific to be fake. And while I love a theme wedding, this couple needs to get a grip and realize that not everyone is as into GOT as they are. Celebrating your fandom in your wedding is one thing, but making guests learn and speak a whole new language is too much.
(featured image: Macall B. Polay/HBO)
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