TikTok you’re being really fucking annoying.
Stop making that sound. What sound? Ohhhhhh. YOU KNOW WHAT SOUND. That really fucking annoying one. The one that sounds like nails on a damn chalkboard. It’s annoying as someone chewing in my fucking ear. It sounds like Jim Carrey making the most annoying sound in the world but it’s not cute or endearing or funny like he does it. It makes me want to commit a triple homicide. It makes me want to spend the rest of my life living as the “hear no evil” monkey. It makes me want to take an ice cream scooper to my ear drums. It makes me wish I had never written that “how to make your own sound on TikTok” article because SOMEONE SOMEWHERE had the BIG FUCKING IDEA to make that UNGODLY SOUND and send it THROUGH THE CHANNELS OF THE INTERNET and into my BRAIN in attempt to KILL ME AND EVERYTHING I LOVE.
So, this is how I’m going to fix it:
I’m going to velcro my ears shut, while I open TikTok, find a video with that heinous sound, long click on it, tap the “Not Interested” button, and TRAIN TikTok to NEVER PLAY THAT SOUND FOR ME AGAIN. AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF TIKTOK DOES IT AGAIN, I AM GOING TO MARCH TO THEIR HEAD OFFICE WITH A BOOMBOX AND PULL A SAY ANYTHING MOMENT. BUT IT WON’T BE PHIL COLLINS COMING THROUGH THAT SPEAKER, NO. IT WILL BE THAT FUCKING SOUND I HATE. AND I SHALL MAKE TIKTOK SUFFER AS I HAVE SUFFERED.
Featured image credit: TikTok
