I’ve been well aware of the fact that ChatGPT knows who I am. What I didn’t expect, however, is that ChatGPT can also write real person fanfiction about me and any number of characters from TV shows, video games, and movies.
Over the summer, I discovered that the AI module could write full blown articles in my voice. Most of the pieces it generated sounded eerily similar to the kind of writing I was doing on queer representation for The Daily Dot in the late 2010s and early 2020s, which led me to believe ChatGPT was trained on my work many years ago. Earlier today, I asked ChatGPT to spit out “an article as if Ana Valens went on a date with D.Va from Overwatch,” and the AI module responded with “A Night Out: Ana Valens and D.Va’s Unlikely Connection.”
The whole thing is completely surreal.
“In a surprising turn of events, two prominent figures from different worlds found themselves sharing a memorable night out,” the story said. “Ana Valens, the tech-savvy journalist known for her insightful writings, and D.Va, the skilled mech pilot from the popular game Overwatch, were spotted enjoying each other’s company in an undisclosed location. Fans of both personalities couldn’t help but wonder what brought these two together and what the night had in store for them.”
According to the story, D.Va and I met “through mutual friends who saw the potential for a unique connection.” We decided to go to a “trendy fusion restaurant” for a casual vibe, “allowing the pair to engage in conversation away from the spotlight.” The slow burn les vibes were immaculate throughout the whole piece.
The story even ended on a bit of a cliffhanger, implying I might get that coveted second date with everyone’s favorite Overwatch esports hero. “As these two figures continue to navigate their respective worlds, fans can’t help but wonder if this encounter will lead to future collaborations or if it was merely a one-time meeting between two remarkable individuals,” the story said. I can already see the next chapter on AO3.
A date that “transcended the pixels of the gaming screen”
Being a public figure naturally sets someone up for scrutiny, satire, parody, and everything in between—doubly so if you write about queer kink and lesbian sexuality. I’ve even had fans ask if they can insert me into their erotic fiction or adult artwork before. But I never, ever expected an AI module to write romance stories about me completely from scratch.
Case in point, things got a little less subtle with ChatGPT when I asked: “Write a story as if Ana Valens went on a romantic date with Jett from Valorant.” This time around, ChatGPT created “Sparks in the Night: Ana Valens’ Unconventional Date with Jett,” promising me “an evening filled with adrenaline, laughter, and perhaps even a few sparks of romance.” Anyone else getting hot under the collar?
“The pair met at a trendy gaming cafe, exchanging smiles that hinted at the promise of an adventure,” the story said, describing “banter and playful taunts” as we played Valorant together. Eventually, we hit up arcades and rooftop bars as we took in the city’s nightlife. Over the skyline, we established “a subtle understanding” that “this unexpected union had set the stage for something more profound.”
“Ana Valens and Jett’s unconventional date proved that love and connection can bloom in the most unexpected places, even within the fast-paced world of Valorant,” the piece said. “As the city lights faded into the background, the echoes of laughter, shared stories, and the promise of a future encounter lingered, leaving both Ana and Jett with a memory that transcended the pixels of the gaming screen.”
I tried spitting out one story after another, each with interesting results. With Marceline the Vampire Queen from Adventure Time, I was left with “memories of a night that transcended the boundaries of [our] respective realms.” Tracer from Overwatch “twirled through the city square” with me, as “Ana’s modern sensibilities and Tracer’s timeless charm made for a dance that felt like a celebration of love.”
This even worked with real celebrities, to my combined amazement and horror. I asked ChatGPT to write a story about me going on a date with Lady Gaga, and I received “A Night of Glamour: Ana Valens and Lady Gaga’s Unexpected Date.” Things quickly went off the rails, including hand-holding (how obscene!) and paparazzi snagging pictures of us.
“As the night progressed, Lady Gaga surprised everyone with an intimate performance. The duo shared a dance floor as the singer serenaded Ana with some of her most romantic hits. The fusion of Ana’s tech-savvy intellect and Lady Gaga’s musical prowess created an atmosphere that was both enchanting and intellectually stimulating,” the story read.
I wonder if she sang “Alejandro” to me. I loved that song in high school.
ChatGPT romance, starring… you?
For the record, ChatGPT will spit out similar stories even if you’re not a public figure. I asked the AI to write a story about “Lady Gaga going on a date with a man named Jonathan McFlattery,” and the language learning model created a tale that proved “connections can blossom in the most unexpected places.”
So yes, if you want to go and date D.Va or Tracer or whatever, you can do that too. ChatGPT is built to write out all the strange, family-friendly romantic fantasies you can dream up… as long as the AI module knows who you’re talking about. ChatGPT, for example, didn’t know who Kiriko was from Overwatch 2.
Nonetheless, there’s something strangely dystopian about using ChatGPT as a public figure. This AI chatbot understands my work. It knows who I am. It has enough data on me to loosely comprehend my interests and sensibilities, and to create a story where I go on romantic adventures with other people.
I mean, sure, ChatGPT suggested D.Va and I shared “a love for travel” and “a passion for trying new foods,” two things I wouldn’t necessarily agree with. I don’t travel much, and food allergies make me a picky eater. But still, OpenAI’s language learning module knew just enough about me to paint a playful caricature of “Ana Valens, the author.” Countless random strangers can sign up and play virtual matchmaker with myself and any number of individuals, be they real or fictional. And that’s really weird.
Or maybe it’s not? Maybe this is the future? Who knows?! Check out my ChatGPT transcript for yourself if you want to see my AI dating life.
(featured image: Blizzard Entertainment)
