Now that Moon Knight has shown us the Egyptian gods and Thor: Love and Thunder introduced the Greek pantheon, let’s rank all the gods from mythology in the MCU! This ranking is a very scientific, carefully calibrated list based on numerous traits and personality features. (Also, it’s just for fun, so please don’t get mad.) To make the list, an MCU god has to a) have a counterpart in actual mythology, and b) have at least a few minutes of screen time in at least one Marvel movie or series. So, Bast, Dionysus, Sylvie, Hathor, and other gods—while awesome in their own right—don’t qualify for this particular list. However, a god still makes the list if they’re actually an alien or robot.
Contains major spoilers for Thor: Love and Thunder!
16. Ammit
Status: Actually a Goddess
There’s not much to say about Ammit, to be honest. In mythology, her main job is to devour the hearts of sinners after they’ve been judged, and in the MCU, she seems to have become a bit arrogant. Wow, Ammit, suddenly it’s your job to convict and execute all sinners on Earth before they’ve even done something bad? Major party foul. Ammit has no personality and no redeeming qualities. To the bottom of the ranking she goes!
15. Eros (AKA Starfox)
Status: Actually a robot? Maybe?
We meet Eros in one of the end-credits scenes in Eternals. If Harry Styles were a god from mythology, he’d be at the very top of this list, but alas, I need to rank the Greek god of love based on what we actually see of him onscreen. So far, there’s just not enough data to really evaluate him, so we’ll revisit this guy after Eternals 2. He seems kind of smarmy, but he gets points for having Patton Oswald as a pet.
14. Hercules
Status: Actually a God
I have a feeling Hercules is going to rocket to the top of this ranking in the next Thor outing, but for now, he’s kind of mid-credit buddies with Eros. I bumped him one spot up because I’m a huge Brett Goldstein fan, though. He’s here, he’s there, he’s every-fucking-where! Hercules, Herculeeeeees!
13. Odin
Status: Actually an Alien
I know this ranking will be controversial, but hear me out. Odin, when you get down to it, is a shitty father and a mediocre king. All three of his kids grow up to be severely screwed-up individuals, and Odin’s remedy, whenever one of them acts out, is to cast them out or lock them away. If he’d had one single kind word for Loki throughout the centuries, several hundred New Yorkers might still be alive. In The Dark World, Odin is in such deep denial about the danger the Aether and the Dark Elves pose that Thor has to sneak out of Asgard behind his back. Odin redeems himself a little a couple of seconds before he dies, but overall, he doesn’t do a great job of anything throughout his time in the MCU.
12. Thena
Status: Actually a Robot
It pains me to put Thena near the bottom of the list, because her character has so much potential. A war goddess living with dementia? That’s a fascinating, poignant character study! Too bad Eternals was so cluttered with, well, Eternals that she got barely any screen time to develop her character. Maybe next time we see her, she’ll have some more room to shine.
11. Sersi
Status: Actually a Robot
Sure, the MCU’s Sersi is kind of a far cry from the original Titan sorceress of Greek mythology who turns men into pigs. But what’s not to like about this version of Sersi? She’s kind and gentle, with an unironic love of Instagram filters and a good, sensible head on her shoulders. Plus, like her Greek counterpart, she does have transmutation powers—and turning an entire Celestial to stone ends up being pretty legendary. Nice work, Sersi!
10. Hela
Status: Actually an Alien
Oh, Hela. Will you ever learn to chill? Hela has an ego even more out of control than her brother Loki’s, and much like Loki, she doesn’t seem to realize that all her schemes essentially boil down to self-sabotage. Seriously, she already got locked away in a prison dimension after her last attempt to take over the universe. How does she think it’s going to work out this time? Especially since she kills the entire Asgardian army and has to rely on zombie soldiers that turn to dust at the first touch of a sword? The only reason she manages to take over Asgard is because it’s foretold in a prophecy.
Still, though, Cate Blanchett is awesome, and you can’t deny that Hela has some serious charisma, even when she’s stabbing you.
9. Zeus
Status: Actually a God, and Won’t Let Us Forget It
Hahahaha, oh man, Zeus sucks so bad. I mean, Russell Crowe is fantastic and every second that Zeus is onscreen is pure delight, but he may be the absolute shittiest person in the universe. Zeus is a blowhard and a coward, showing off his skills with a weapon he never intends to actually use against anything remotely dangerous. Plus, he disinvites Thor to the orgy just because Thor is trying to save all those useless gods’ lives! Like Thor says, never meet your heroes.
8. Sif
Status: Actually an Alien
Look, I’ll be honest: Sif comes off as kind of one dimensional. She’s a warrior, and a woman. She’s a woman who’s a warrior. Warrior? Check. Woman? Check. She is a warrior woman who’s a woman who’s a warrior. Those are her two character traits, and gosh darn it, she plays them to the hilt! It was fun to see her show up in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Loki, though.
Sif fans had high hopes for Thor: Love and Thunder, because Sif didn’t get the Taika Waititi treatment that Thor and the others got in Ragnarok, and Thor 4 was a chance to finally breathe some new life into her character. However, Sif has so little screen time in Love and Thunder that nothing about her really changed. Sigh. Maybe we’ll finally see the full potential of Sif in Thor 5?
7. Heimdall
Status: Actually an Alien
Heimdall never quite gets his due in the MCU. In the first two Thor movies, we only ever see him on duty in the Bifrost Observatory, where his job is to keep watch over every being in the cosmos. Like most of the Thor characters, Heimdall’s character really blossoms in Ragnarok, when we see him on the run from the false Odin and stealthily saving civilians from Hela. Despite his overall terseness, Heimdall does have a dry wit that comes out now and again. His quick thinking and self-sacrifice in Infinity War, when he uses the last of his strength to use the Bifrost to send Hulk to Earth, is a poetic end for his character, and it’s such a treat to see him welcome Jane into Valhalla at the end of Love and Thunder.
6. Khonshu
Status: Actually a God
In Moon Knight, we never quite find out what Khonshu’s whole deal is. Yes, he’s the god of the moon who protects the travelers of the night. We get that part! But … why is it the god of the moon’s main job to take vengeance on bad guys? Why exactly is that his wheelhouse?
Khonshu has a great personality, though. And by great, I mean enormously fun to watch, but definitely not someone you’d ever want to have to interact with in real life. When he doesn’t have access to a human avatar, Khonshu is relegated to huffing indignantly and creating gusts of wind that blow leaves and papers around, and I could watch that all day.
5. Frigga
Status: Actually an Alien
I know I’ve fangirled over Frigga before, but she’s just the coolest. She’s a powerful sorceress and mighty warrior mom who was canonically raised by witches (Witches plural! How many witches are we talking about here!? I still want to get to the bottom of this question), but she’s got the biggest heart in Asgard and, unlike Odin, she refuses to give up on her sons when they mess up. Out of everyone in the family, she’s the only one who treats Loki with compassion after he attacks Earth, and that kindness is part of what helps Loki claw his way back from villainy and eventually redeem himself. Plus, she knows exactly what to say to Thor when he comes back from the future badly in need of some love. The little quip about eating a salad is kind of uncalled for, but no goddess is perfect.
4. Taweret
Status: Actually a Goddess
Moon Knight viewers fell in love with Taweret the moment she waved hello at Marc and Steven. As the captain of the ship that sails to the afterlife, Taweret might seem like she doesn’t have a ton of responsibilities as a goddess, but she’s the one who comes through for Earth when Ammit starts harvesting souls prematurely. And if that’s not enough to convince you that Taweret belongs in the top 5, just check out her avatar Layla’s transformation in Moon Knight episode 6.
3. Thor
Status: Actually an Alien
Thor is one of the most beloved characters in the MCU, and it’s not hard to see why. He’s built like Yggdrasil, he can summon lightning, and underneath it all, he’s got a goofy sense of humor. Unlike the wisecracking Tony Stark, it took Thor a few movies to really embrace his comedic side, but when he finally did, he launched himself into the ranks of the best cinematic superheroes of all time.
Not only that, but Thor’s emotional journey over the past few films has been riveting. Thor starts off as an immature meathead impatient to become king, but gradually grows into a thoughtful hero who decides he doesn’t want the throne. He loses his entire family and his home world along the way, leading to a truly heartbreaking bout with depression and despair during the years of the Blip. Now, his latest Classic Thor Adventure in Love and Thunder helped him open his heart back up by reconciling with Jane and giving him an adopted daughter to love.
2. Valkyrie
Status: Actually an Alien
When Valkyrie made her cocky, drunken debut in Ragnarok, she was the badass MCU goddess we’d all been waiting for. Valkyrie is a deliciously complicated character. As a Valkyrie and King of New Asgard, she’s noble and loyal at heart, but she was left so traumatized and jaded from Hela’s slaughter of all the other Valkyries that she spent thousands of years drinking away the pain. When Thor first asked for her help, Valkyrie had to wrestle with her conflicting desires to do the right thing and forget the “golden sham” of the Asgardian royal family. Love and Thunder delved more deeply into her love life, and although she didn’t get the queen that Tessa Thompson promised us as Comic-Con 2019, we still got to see Valkyrie’s softer side.
1. Loki
Status: Actually an Alien
As Loki himself says in the manga Thor and Loki: Double Trouble: “Is there anything in any universe better than a Loki?”
No, there isn’t! And we have so many Lokis to choose from! Which Loki is your favorite? Ragnarok Loki? TVA Loki? Sylvie? Alligator Loki? They’re all so great! Loki embodies all the best traits of the Trickster archetype: he’s clever, charismatic, unpredictable, and a perpetual underdog (even when he’s trying to take over the world). Watching Loki’s double redemption arcs has been a truly fun and wild ride, and I can’t wait for Loki Season 2 to come out.
Congratulations, Loki! You may not have won…well, literally any fight you’ve ever been in, but you’re #1 at The Mary Sue.
(featured image: Marvel)
