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Give Me What I Want Out of These Game of Thrones Spinoffs. Give Me Back Robb Stark and Oberyn Martell.

Bring me my boys!

Robb Stark, Oberyn Martell

Look, before we even start this, I know. I know I picked the worst boys to fall in love with. I had everyone telling me that I made a mistake in who I chose to love. I am well aware of the pain I was setting myself up for when little 20-year-old Rachel started watching Game of Thrones. But that didn’t change my love for Robb Stark and then Oberyn Martell.

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Why am I bringing them up now, in the year of our lord 2021? Well, because I’m me and I will talk about these two until I’m blue in the face, but more than that: George R.R. Martin signed a new deal with HBO for five new series, and while none of them include my boys … what if they did?

For me, I instantly saw Richard Madden bringing Robb Stark to life and thought to myself “I love him” only to have all of my friends at the time tell me to not get attached. Since I hadn’t read Martin’s books, I looked into what happened to Robb Stark anyway and just resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be sad about it.

When I finally was prepared to move on and watch season 4 of Game of Thrones, I was then confronted with Pedro Pascal as Oberyn Martell, and again thought to myself “I love him” only for someone else to tell me to not grow attached. Truly, my entire relationship with Game of Thrones was falling in love with these men and then having someone tell me that I probably should look up what happens to them. Real annoying if you ask me that all my hot boys die.

So what do I want George R.R. Martin to give me? My boys. Not bring them back to life or anything like that, but just more of them. Sure, we got more Robb Stark in the show than we ever got in the books, but that doesn’t mean we saw his entire possible storyline. But even more than that, I want to go to Dorne and see Oberyn before he came to fight the Mountain. I want to see the Red Viper in his natural habitat.

Just give me a whole series set on Dorne, to be quite honest. I don’t think anyone would be mad about that.

oberyn gif

Like, do I think I’m going to get this? Absolutely not, but if I put out into the universe that I want a whole series just of Oberyn Martell lying around on thrones and looking hot with everyone in love with him, maybe the gods will smile down on me. They did make me watch his eyes get smashed into this skull, so it’s the least they can do.

With all these new Game of Thrones stories coming our way, I’ll just remember my boys and pray that they’ll get their time again. And if not? Well, I can always go back to the first four seasons of Game of Thrones and just skip “The Rains of Castamere” and “Mhysa” in season 3 (I don’t need to see Robb’s decapitated body, no thank you!) and skip “The Mountain and the Viper” in season 4.

(Please note while making sure that we don’t see more of Oberyn’s smashed in skull later on, I accidentally clicked on the frame where his skull was smashed in and I think I deserve a hug for that.)

Sadly, I know that I’m probably alone in this fight.

But I can hope and pray that I’ll have more Robb Stark and Oberyn Martell someday. We can only wish.

(image: HBO)

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Rachel Leishman
Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. She's been a writer professionally since 2016 but was always obsessed with movies and television and writing about them growing up. A lover of Spider-Man and Wanda Maximoff's biggest defender, she has interests in all things nerdy and a cat named Benjamin Wyatt the cat. If you want to talk classic rock music or all things Harrison Ford, she's your girl but her interests span far and wide. Yes, she knows she looks like Florence Pugh.

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