Female Florida Manatee Rescued From Sexhaustion After Six-Hour Mating Session
I'll have what she's having.
While I don’t like the connotations that the phrase “walk of shame” has (shouldn’t it be march of fist-pumping triumph instead?), a female manatee now has the walk of shame story to put all others to, well, shame after an extreme sex-hangover left her stranded on a beach in Florida last week. We get it, Ms.Manatee, you’re hot shit, okay?
The sexy sea-cow was found on Florida’s Disappearing Island Beach by Jim Yurecka, who estimates that the lovely lady had first engaged in approximately six hours of manatee on womanatee action. The manatee’s partner(s)—Yurecka says he saw an entire herd mating—returned to the water, but left the lone female behind to bask in the kind of satisfaction most of us can only dream of. When it became clear the manatee might be in danger, Yurecka contacted the Fish And Wildlife Conservation Commission, which promptly set up a manatee rescue-tent to keep the 10-foot, 1,000 pound mammal hydrated and super-fly. The manatee’s repeated requests for a cigarette (I’m guessing) were denied, and eventually a twenty-person team of tourists and officials returned her to the sea on a stretcher.
Georgia Zern of the Marine Science Center told ABC,
It is quite natural for female manatees to swim to shallow water during mating season […] The manatee was only about 30 feet away from the water […] It just appeared that the female manatee was too tired to go back by itself.
Says Jim Yurecka, “The manatee was pretty lucky.”
Says the manatee, “Luck? Luck has nothing to do with it, baby.”
Previously in you and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
- Are beards sexy? Science explains
- J.K. Rowling addresses fan questions about Voldemort’s virginity
- Horny frogs stop at nothing to get it on.
Have a tip we should know? email@example.com