Florida man bought a nightclub while manic. It ended in homelessness
He bought a nightclub for the plot.
David Funes (@bipolarguylovinglife) from Miami, Florida, said he bought a nightclub at the height of a manic episode. His decision was amusing yet financially devastating.
“I bought an after-hours nightclub while bipolar manic back in 2016,” Funes told Instagram. He showed photos of his old nightclub, Vault. While it seemed like a thriving club, Funes said he didn’t care about making money at the time.
“I could have cared less about making money. All I cared about is partying as hard as I could in my own club, and I made the worst possible hiring decisions,” Funes said. Being a fun partygoer is not the same as being a savvy nightclub owner. Funes said he hired his former “dealer,” whom he called Ciroc Papi, as the general manager. The man also lived with Funes in his condo. Did he end up like this woman who teleported on top of a gurney after an acid trip? Not exactly, but Funes said funds for the club started running low.
“So, I confronted him, and he sucker-punched me in the face,” Funes calmly said. He had to kick Ciroc Papi out of the condo after the incident. But after getting rid of his first general manager, Funes said all his employees left. He explained, “They hated working for me with the way I managed things.”
Hiring customers queued as nightclub employees
When he came to the club one night, Funes said he had no employees. However, a line was already forming outside of the club, and Funes didn’t know what to do about it.
Funes decided to hire people with bar experience on the spot. They were random people lined up as customers, not as job applicants. In hindsight, Funes said that it was a “really dumb decision.” Vault was a club that had a 300-person capacity. He thought he didn’t need to hire too many people. Regardless, Funes said his recruits turned out to be “the worst possible people.”
“Parker, who I made the GM [general manager]—he ended up being a heroin addict, didn’t show up to work the next time,” Funes alleged. Parker was found on Funes’ couch, and he slept like a log. But worse than Parker was a man Funes called Antonio.
“Then there was Antonio, who ended up pulling a knife on me, so I had to let him go,” Funes added. Just when his employees seemed like they couldn’t get any worse, Funes also had a former hire nicknamed T-Rex, who was allegedly served a warrant of arrest for counterfeiting money. “Who knows what he was doing with the cash from my club?” Funes stated.
Losing everything to the worst people
Nevertheless, T-Rex also introduced Funes to a midnight ballerina codenamed Ol’ Girl, whom Funes let stay in his spare bedroom in exchange for watching his apartment. He said that this decision was also a mistake, as he’d lost items in his apartment during Ol’ Girl’s stay. Funes believes her regulars robbed him.
“And the worst of all is I hired one ‘M*th Head David,’ as the final general manager of my club,” Funes said. Like his other hires, Funes was subsequently betrayed. He alleged David stole his shirts, his car, and money from the club. After the incident, Funes said his nightclub went under.
He lost everything and ended up unhoused, all because of an impulsive nightclub purchase and even more questionable hiring decisions. While this may be a contender for the most Florida man story out there, it’s important to note that uninhibited risk-taking and high impulsivity are symptoms of bipolar disorder during a manic episode. When the condition is left unmanaged, decision-making can be impaired.
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