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Now Presenting … the Fifty Shades Darker Trailer in its Cringe-Worthy Entirety

"I don't see how this can work."

In case you missed it, yesterday gave us a new poster and teaser for Fifty Shades Darkerand now it looks like the full, glorious first trailer is here. As you can see, things have taken quite a turn for Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey.

Picking up from the last film, Ana broke things off with her stalker Christian, and now he’s using his money and influence to get back into her good graces. But wait, there’s more! The plot somehow morphs into a Lifetime movie on steroids with reckless exes, a dramatic crash and a steamy shower scene that hopes you’ll forget this would actually be super uncomfortable in real life.

Prepare to swoon as Christian seduces Ana by giving her inappropriately long stares, inquiring about what she wants and ignoring her answer anyway, and controlling both her personal and professional life under the guise of being protective and caring. But hey, he’s rich and handsome, and this is a fantasy, so it’s all fair game, right?

I’ll admit, the trailer nearly got me with the supremely sexy slowed-down Beyonce track, but that’s exactly how these types of films pull you in. I mean, part of the reason I actually enjoyed Twilight was its killer soundtrack, featuring the likes of Muse, Paramore and Iron & Wine. And let’s just admit that the throwback jams in Guardians of the Galaxy brought the film to another level.

Still, it’s hard to ignore the fact that at the center of this film is an abusive relationship (which I will never stop pointing out, because people keep defending it) masquerading as a fantasy romance. It is not sweet, it is not BDSM, and it definitely is not real. I hope everyone can remember that, come February 10. As for the movie being watchable, the jury is still out on that one.

Check out the trailer above and then spill your feelings in the comments below. I know you have a lot of them.

(via Vulture, image via Screencap)

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