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New FBI Director Announced by Trump Tweet Because This Is the Most Irritating Possible Future

Not the future liberals w—you know what? I can't. I'm so tired.


We’ve previously discussed how Donald Trump understands how to use the Internet, but only insofar as it can help him spread his toxic propaganda, rather than actually understanding anything else about it or how it can help others. Just yesterday, White House Press Goblin Sean Spicer said Trump’s tweets should be considered official statements (and, yeah, they really should if we’re going to hold him accountable), and now we’ve got a new FBI director announced on Twitter, by one of its biggest trolls.

It’s the future! It’s the most mundane, frustrating, grating version of the future possible, but it’s the future nonetheless. Y- … yay?

Trump tweeted this morning that Christopher Wray, a former Assistant Attorney General under George W. Bush, among other things (like representing Chris Christie in through his bridge scandal), will be taking over as head of the FBI now that James Comey is out. Comey, you’ll remember, was fired not-at-all-because-but-OK-actually-seriously-because Trump was getting annoyed about the FBI’s investigation of his campaign’s possible ties to and collusion with Russia.

Trump left that part out of this morning’s announcement, which we can only assume is because of Twitter’s 140-character limit, because he’s had no problem so far essentially admitting that he fired Comey to obstruct the investigation. He’s not the only one, either, as the Washington Post has more details of Trump asking other officials to intervene with Comey about the Russia investigation on his behalf, which sounds an awful lot like Richard Nixon trying to get the FBI’s Watergate investigation shut down.

Why are we talking about all this today? Well, fired FBI Director James Comey will testify publicly in front of the Senate tomorrow, specifically about conversations in which Trump may or may not have pressured him to drop his investigation. Meanwhile, Trump’s grating use of Twitter will continue: It’s been reported that he will live tweet Comey’s testimony, which is probably as terrible an idea for his own good as it is for the sanity of the rest of us.

In other words …


Strap in, kids. “Stupid Watergate” is going to get stupider before it gets less stupid, thanks to technology.

(via Mediaite, featured image: Universal Pictures, Twitter, edits)

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Dan Van Winkle (he) is an editor and manager who has been working in digital media since 2013, first at now-defunct Geekosystem (RIP), and then at The Mary Sue starting in 2014, specializing in gaming, science, and technology. Outside of his professional experience, he has been active in video game modding and development as a hobby for many years. He lives in North Carolina with Lisa Brown (his wife) and Liz Lemon (their dog), both of whom are the best, and you will regret challenging him at Smash Bros.