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We’ve Got Some Real Strong Feelings About the New Pottermore Patronus Quiz

Expecto the unexpecto-ed.


Okay, so, we all know that Patronuses can be literally any animal, right? Even mythical ones? Somehow, though, that reality didn’t exactly set in until we were given this new Pottermore quiz that’s said to reveal just what your Patronus might be.

The quiz is actually a pretty fun experience, and is a departure from the “personality quiz” type of questionnaires that make up much of the Pottermore experience. I don’t want to spoil it, but suffice it to say that it definitely involves a happy memory you might have and explores your thoughts around it in a pretty neat way. Keep in mind, though, that the questions are timed, so make sure you’ve got the time and/or privacy needed to complete this quiz in whole before you begin. Oh, and I’d also strongly second their suggestion to use headphones. The soundscape created for the quiz is pretty neat, and helps with the immersion.

What’s especially interesting to me about this (and really, most of the other Pottermore quizzes) is that you can’t immediately deduce just how you arrived at your answer. This quiz is especially good at obfuscating the process, as you’ll see. This, in some small way, is what I imagine it’s like to experiment with and try out new spells, with the premise here being you’re a wizard who’s trying out the Expecto patronum spell for the first time.

Anyway, since I know you’re all wondering, here’s the TMS crew’s Patronuses.

Dan: Manx Cat, to which his reaction was simply, “Dope.” Seems right.


Maddy: Vole, which, well…



TeresaDolphin. “A dolphin swimming through the woods – my Patronus makes about as much sense as I do. PERFECT!”


KeishaDolphin. We have so many TMS dolphins.


Charline: Pine Marten. What even…


CarlySt Bernard. “This surprised me because I am a total cat personality but maybe my Patronus and I balance each other out.”


Sam R.Dolphin. Yeah, I know, right?! In her words: “Squeak squeak, mother******.”


AlecRottweiler. Okay, Alec’s story is amazing, and I’m quoting him for this:

When the quiz asked me to think of my happiest memory, I thought of my dog Big Mama Janksy. My Patronus turned out to be a Rottweiler! Although Big Mama was an English Mastiff, they’re both big, lovable dogs who’ll do anything to protect their human companions.



Finally, yours truly, JessicaRed Squirrel. You know, at first, I was kind of confused, but after a friend of mine looked up what it might mean, she told me that it’s the “whimsy animal/Patronus.” Yeah. Yeah, okay, I’m totally hecking fine with that.


So, go on then. Take the quiz. What’d you get? How do you feel about it?

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Jessica Lachenal is a writer who doesn’t talk about herself a lot, so she isn’t quite sure how biographical info panels should work. But here we go anyway. She's the Weekend Editor for The Mary Sue, a Contributing Writer for The Bold Italic (, and a Staff Writer for Spinning Platters ( She's also been featured in Model View Culture and Frontiers LA magazine, and on Autostraddle. She hopes this has been as awkward for you as it has been for her.